Unspoken Words

Total Eclipse Of The Moon

2011-12-10T22:38:00.004+08:00

to some...it is just another thing that happens naturally..together with your earthquakes and weathering...

to some.. it is just another world wonder where everyone just looks at it and goes all 'wah' and then continue on with their days as though it was nothing..

to some.. it is something that they have never known possible..and pretty much awestruck that such things do happen...

to some..it's just another reason to party or to come up with some scheming way to sell their products..

to me...it's what i admire and look forward to...there is so much in the space around us..so much that happens without us knowing...so much which helps us understand our existence and evolution..so much that to us may seem really nothing at all...but are actually very complex mechanisms that have been around before we did...

eclipses of the moon are not at all rare...but most of them are usually partial ones...and part of those that are total eclipses just end up being too late at night...but today..i have witnessed the progression of a lunar eclipse from beginning to totality...and not being able to stay up through the complete waning phase of it due to a long day at work tomorrow...but it was definitely one moment i treasure...would have been more sensational if there had been others to enjoy it with in an open field with a wide view...

it's not the clearest of pictures...but it's the best i got...the refraction of red light on the total eclipse of the moon...

Mid-Exam

2011-11-16T21:53:00.002+08:00

and two papers done...one more to go...

but believe me, it was tiring...how much can you write in a day...write write write..anyway that's that much junk out of my mind..not completely though..considering how my coming exam would be on the same stuff as one of the exams yesterday..

but yeah...that's been about it..i just have no time or mood for anything else...keep getting tired..and then having to force myself to get something done..which rarely actually does happen..and then rush for it as the date nears..and then in a few hours..it's all over...just like that..

and now..with the exams ending next week...all i am looking for is just work..for most of the summer..work..and more work..and although that is financially satisfying...it's just..blah...pointless..moodless..nothing to look forward to...holidays are, and will always be, the worst time of the year...just a bunch of crap days with nothing happening..

i cant even play keyboard smoothly now...and i have no guitar to come home to either... pfft...

Revival

2011-11-06T10:24:00.002+08:00

oh my..so like either this has been totally forgotten or like totally ignored..it's amazing like how one day you can just wake up and be like..totally out of routine..suddenly you stop doing something you would always have done..or suddenly you stop feeling something you have always felt..and you thought that by experiencing it everyday that it would stay with you forever..

well..the year has passed..and although it seems as though the blog had died, i havent..still here able to tell you that it's the end of the year..in other words, i've actually completed a semester and winter holidays and still havent been able to post something..it's a good thing how there isnt an expiry date on this page..as of yet..

but yes, another semester is coming to an end..and a pretty impactful one as well..with many people graduating after their exams later this month...a huge number of people will be out of the university and onto their own lives...while i will be left behind...yes..i was supposed to graduate too...even though it was only 5 semesters worth...and then thanks to genetics..which i didnt post either..here i am left to stay one more semester...to try and get something out of it this time..

in just two weeks' time i could have joined the others in freedom and celebration and rejoice...but for now, it is just a summer break for me..as i work here, travel home and head back for another semester of lectures, labs and exams...right till june next year..

such is such and i cant avoid that now..all i have to do now is to make sure i get through this semester...which isnt very far off...

maybe full-on karaoke after this?.. sounds fair..considering how out of tune my life has been...

i guess i might drop by here sooner....

Pierced

2011-02-18T22:10:00.002+08:00

the week is almost over here in perth...i've been back here for 5 days now..

but yesterday...i got something done...something which i've waited 7.5 years to do...i went to get two lobe piercings on my left ear....for $60...

like finally...

like wow....

Loving You

2011-02-14T15:42:00.002+08:00

it's been a while...yes it has...a frequent visitor to this page (if there ever was one) would think that i've put a stop to updating...heck..even i myself would think that coming to view the page once in a while...

but no..i havent actually stopped...slowed down maybe..but not stopped...it's just...i was occupied...and occupied wonderfully...

yes it is a new year...and the first post for the year is midway into the second month...so...what exactly could keep me away from revisiting here to let the world know of my doings?....

well..work for one thing...i've been working much...like 5 days in a week...yeah..that's pretty normal i guess...like everyone works 5 days in a week..but then they have less time for other stuff..which is what i experienced then as well....but then again...all i did was work everyday...so what exciting thing could there be to post up...nobody would want to read 5 posts of "hi..i went to work today..and i just got back..and work was dumb."

but mainly...it was because i wasnt here in perth...i left for singapore on the 18th of january..courtesy of myself this time...for paying my own ticket...and i just came back from singapore yesterday...and what a sensational experience it was to be back there....

of course i met a number of friends here and there..and the sessions with them were entertaining...mostly meal meetups..but to activities as well which lightened everyone up..and i am glad to have met them..and spent time..and relived memories...and i am pretty disappointed at not being able to catch up with some others..especially some who have actually been waiting for me to come back...and i made them wait in vain...i really hope i can make it up some time soon.....

but mostly..my time back there was spent with you, rumya...the agony of waiting for you...the excitement of anticipating you..and the joy of being with you...what a month (or less than a month) it was...we did so much...and though i am not there with you today...i wish you a happy valentine's day...because you are my valentine..and you deserve so much...those memories are the ones that are going to last with me through this year...so that i may return back to you in the coming one...when i will realise bliss and comfort once again...

i waited eleven months...i can do it again..... <3

The Day Before The End

2010-12-30T21:06:00.002+08:00

and like that...it's the eve of new year's eve..one more day to live through and then 2010 is gone and lost forever...all events just memories...stored and forgotten somewhere...365 days of ups and downs now all level and inactive....

and then it starts all over again...from the start of 2011...another year to live through..open to all possibilities and events...ready for time to throw its best at you...so that you may overcome it and create a name for 2011 as well...

2010 has been pretty decent for me..i've been in perth for 11 months...so it's nothing much..two semesters down...making it 1.5 years of my degree...another year to go...and yes..i did pretty well for this semester...managed to get a distinction for all 4 modules that i did...but that means that becomes the new benchmark for now..which isnt fair..since modules and weightage are different each semester..............

new friends, of course, over the months...mixing around..seeing people..making connections..spending time...it's been a year of growth in general...not exactly an exciting year as such..but one which will further enhance my future years in one way or another..creating new avenues for future options to occur..whatever they may be...

and i am in love...what a wonderful year it has been...from something i thought i would have trouble managing..to something i feel has become worth keeping...something which has made me become someone..and which has instilled in me a sense of responsibility and that i have a future to mould..it's been a wonderful 10.5 months...not easy, definitely...but wonderful...and though we are apart..i am growing closer to you each day...

and i am working...so that will keep me occupied for some time...

new things to look forward to...i shall be going back to singapore for a bit during mid jan...for about a month...sort of like my break for the year...before i embark on another year of uni...and definitely one that is more hectic and heavy....but it will be over soon....new friends, i'm sure...new places...new events...and who knows...a change of plan...or a different journey...what if i dont go back to singapore after my degree ends............cant say now..

for now...it's just ...to try to live out the rest of 2010..and embrace the day that comes tomorrow..where everyone looks back and marvels at how, no matter what they were doing, somehow they managed to make it through one whole year..

And There You Go

2010-11-20T00:03:00.002+08:00

it's only 5 days...it shouldnt be an issue..in fact, it'll go and come without anyone even knowing..how many sets of 5 days have i lived in this lifetime so far..and everytime the next set of 5 days comes along, i think it's going to be a long one..but then just like that..it goes...and so should this..

but it seems, it may not be so...

for these 5 days are going to be such a long phase...the distance is truly going to be felt...we've grown so close..we never really felt how far apart we are..always knew i could fall back on you..that whenever i want to talk to you..you would answer..you would reply..i'd know that you'd be there..not that you would literally be..but that you just would be...

and now..i have no one to lean on..no one to come home to...no one to look forward to..but then again..it's just 5 days..isnt it?...

Nine Months Of Waiting

2010-11-12T22:19:00.002+08:00

i guess it's pretty much been a while since i've written something up here..but along the lines of the usual reason given, things just dont happen much anymore and the life that i lead now as a degree student...ensures activities are kept in routine...not that routine is bad..but we could all do with a little change here and there..

i am in the midst of my exams..and two have passed..leaving two more coming up next week..in fact, my genetics paper was just this afternoon..and a pretty pleasing one i guess...good way to mark a friday...but the weekend's to be spent in preparation for pharm and biochem..actually i should continue with biochemistry tonight itself..

i dont know whether i am looking forward to the holidays after the exams next week..i have my cousin's wedding coming up exactly one month from now and i've postponed helping in any sort of preparation till my exams are over..and my uncle and aunt have compromised to let it be that way..but it means i'd have to do so much more then..since time is of the essence...

i've got to start work..work as in working..like earning money..got a job at the Dome in West Perth..and that'll hopefully keep me occupied through the summer break and the semester after that..and that'll fund my expenditure for whatever necessary..and for whatever not...

since it's the summer....which means it's a long holiday..most people will tend to leave the country..either for a holiday...or to return back to where they came from..i'd like to do the same as well..but the decision is not up to me..and i'm sort of expected to be here till mid january anyway...as for after that..nothing is confirmed..but nothing is being planned either..if i can psycho my parents to pay for me..or to let me pay for my own ticket...i might make it back from end january..for........hopefully a long enough period...

if anything...at least...let me go back to see you...i've waited nine months..without a form of contact that i can indulge in...and i have been yearning...all wonders based on dreams..all waiting..to become, in some way or another, a form of reality...

because i love you.

HomeTown Kitchen

2010-10-21T20:20:00.002+08:00

and it has finally opened!! well i dont know if it opened today...but...as far as i know...the cars only came to fill the parking lot as i was walking back from the bus stop in the evening...

HomeTown Kitchen...possibly one of the best things that has ever happened in Parkwood..and especially in Parkwood Shopping Centre..which is one of the most hopeless shopping centres ever...if it can even be called a shopping centre....

now just to wait to try it.....hopefully sometime soon......

should tell my grandma to stop cooking...... :p

Lesmurdie Falls National Park

2010-09-24T23:12:00.002+08:00

deep in the lush areas of eastern Perth, lies a large area of untamed rocks and valleys, known as Perth Hills..which stretches from the boundaries of the Shire of Kalamunda towards the central areas of the Shire of Mundaring, and within its perimeter, various parks exist, each able to bring about awe and glamour in their own way...and one of these wonderful collaborations between nature and man can be found in a localised suburb known as Lesmurdie....where away from the main roads, a getaway sits..known as the Lesmurdie Falls National Park..

and it is there that four inexperienced yet enthusiastic travellers agreed to spend their afternoon, coupled with enjoying the fruits of nature, in nature itself...

okay....so..the drive took about 50 mins from the university campus, where we all were to begin with...but the journey there just got better as we carried on...it was such that..the entrance to the park is situated at the top of the hill...and so it was quite a sight to behold once we got out of the car..and that sort of motivated us to venture deeper into the depths of wonder...

the road was rocky and sandy...the flowers were attractive yet unfriendly..the sun shone down with no mercy...but we were driven by the forces of nature, the curiosity to see what lies at the end..and the packets of junk we had brought along with us for the picnic..

it was basically just...in essence..walking down a hill...but..the path that was laid out for us was one where only the brave wander..and we were making our way through streams and drops...and moments when it seemed that you'd just fall off...

and the main reason why the park was given its name..was because of the waterfall which highlighted the backdrop..the Lesmurdie Falls...flowing from the big rocks near the top of the hills...down to the seemingly bottomless pit of greenery...

and that was what me, together with samantha, sindhu and steffi had experienced in just the couple or so hours that we were able to spend there...

and then of course, there was the picnic...which was....well..filling......

i am so stuffed....

awesome.

Uncertain

2010-09-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

i want to blog...

but i dont know what to type........

Sister's 21st Birthday

2010-08-28T21:52:00.002+08:00

and finally she turns 21...

but...just like any other day..she went to work...and came back....partying is so not her thing...

still...some celebration had to be done..so...i went round places to find a cake and settled for a lemon meringue...

she came back from work....sat down for a bit...and then .... cake!...

and then dinner...and then ..back to normal....

yes..that's all for a 21st birthday celebration...... :)

but for her...that was more than enough.. :)

Happy Birthday Sandhya.. :)

Election Day 2010

2010-08-21T21:20:00.002+08:00

okay...just because the title says election day..doesnt mean i'm going to talk anything about it...because it doesnt bother me in any way..and well..even if it did...i'm not able to vote either, not being an Australian citizen...so if i cant have a say in anything, then there is no point for me to bother about the consequences either...

Julia Gillard vs Tony Abbott.....Labor vs Liberal..whatever the case...Western Australia has already been deemed a Liberal State with them winning almost all the constituencies...

anyway..i spent Election Day out.....no, not voting..but mainly shopping..it's good because people are all queueing to cast their ballots...so the carparks and shops are somewhat emptier...and it was the usual kind of shopping .. nothing special...and we ate outside as well...we meaning.. me and grandma...

as usual...i ate a lot....this is getting to be such a bad habit...especially when you stop getting hungry for your meals...and this isnt something that's coming up after a while...in fact it's kind of been ongoing..considering how much i took in just yesterday...

yesterday was a good day....was over at sindhu's place..cos well...we were making lunch and hannah, samantha and anna came over to grace the event..an indian afternoon...totally something new..haha..on the menu was...homemade prata, courtesy of sindhu...rogan josh fish curry, yellow dhal and palak paneer...all of which turned out pretty well actually..but that also led to us, or at least me, taking in more than i needed...

and then there was dessert..doughnuts and home made cookies (which anna brought over to bake)...and the appetizer being half a bowl of white chocolate buttons and jelebi...yes, i know...jelebi....... :p

so yeah...i was stuffed as you can probably imagine.....

and then i had to come home for dinner anyway...which was thosai...3 of them..and curry and vegetables..i wasnt even hungry for breakfast today......

august is such a spoiler month....all this eating..oooooh..and the cold...stupid cold..it just gets colder..and you wonder why...it's like..the sun is there and you are reaching temperatures of 20 degrees....but...you are just cold.......stupid weather...

Swan Valley

2010-08-13T22:34:00.002+08:00

so today..friday the 13th...i was fortunate enough not to have lessons...since my lessons for the day arent on every week...and so that gave me a whole free day..now..no one spends a whole free day at home...so...something had to be done...

and so....i went to Swan Valley...with sindhu...

so yes...we went the public way....bus to Cannington..train to Claisebrook..train to Guildford and then walk from there...and basically that was all that we did...walk......

we walked a hell lot...just kept on walking...along the same West Swan Road...all the way...through Guildford, Caversham, West Swan, Henley Brook...right up to Aveley...well, almost there anyway...must have covered about 12km in total....

of course we stopped at places along the way..saw most of the wineries and the breweries from the outside...but the same couldnt be done for the Margaret River Chocolate Factory.. :p in fact, we stayed in there long enough to have brunch....we shared a 70% Ghana Mudcake gluten-free...i had a Rum-topped Vanilla Ice Cream Sundae and sindhu had a Coke Spider...which is what they call their Floats here...and we had a chilli truffle each as well..just for trying..haha..what an experience... :p

and lunch was at The Mallard Duck...which upon first glance, one would expect a menu of duck..but that was the thing that wasnt on it...almost every other meat was...but we shared a platter...of seafood and meat...and bread...and given that we were already full even before eating...this was more than enough...and we had a glass of Windy Creek's Autumn Harvest White Wine each.....just to wash it down.... :p

and then after staying on for a while, we decided to get back..haha..and that's where the craziness started...we were at the bus stop waiting for the bus to get back..and we waited for quite a while..and then a bus did drive by eventually but it wasnt in service...yet he stopped by the bus stop and asked if we were waiting for a bus..and we said yeah...and he was like...saying that there was no bus travelling by this route..and i was like surprised and asked him about the service that we were planning to take...and he replied saying that the service was one-directional...and i could only take it from the other side of the road....haha...and we were like stunned...

but we did cross the road instead..and waited for the bus...hopped on it..and had to travel to Ellenbrook, since that was the only way that the bus went...but the driver helped us out a bit and told us where to drop to transfer a service to Morley..so that we could get back..and that's what we did..and so we waited again after dropping off that bus..

and waited and waited and waited.....

and the bus never came ...

and then while we were waiting...suddenly a car stopped by the bus stop...and someone called my name..haha...and it was ...well..i dont remember her name..but it was someone i knew...the only person i knew who stayed in Ellenbrook..but i would have never expected her to drive by at that time..what were the chances?.....and so..she was like asking if we needed a lift..and haha...of course, we accepted..and she drove us all the way to Midland...where we took the train back to Claisebrook and then to Cannington...

i went on the bus back with sindhu from Cannington..and after she dropped off at her house, i carried on to Murdoch...where i took the train to Bull Creek and then the bus back home....quite some travelling eh?.... :p

what a day...

National Day 2010

2010-08-09T19:52:00.002+08:00

and for yet another year...the country comes together to celebrate not just independence, but also progression and togetherness....marking 45 years of nation building and sustenance...

but me...well..i'm not in town again....and the webcast i tried playing..just refused to work...so for yet another year, i'm not watching the parade and the celebrations....

still..to all those who are...hope you immerse yourself in the joys of celebration and reflect upon what the country has done for you..and how you've grown from it..

and to the nation, it's marvellous how 45 years have passed...i'm sure this can be a good base to continue to prosper and provide for generations to come....

happy 45th birthday singapore :)

Make It Work

2010-07-20T23:57:00.003+08:00

in order to make it work.....

things need to be done.....

-survive the year
-drop by in january
-buy a house
-have eleven kids
-travel the world (or most of it)
-cruise on 25th anniversary
-buy flowers now and then......and i am not considered a flower in these cases.... :s

and guess what....it's not even complete yet.... :x

Emotions XXXIV - A Given Word

2010-07-12T13:17:00.001+08:00

i've already given myself to you
now all that i do
it's for you
if i hold on
it's only because i'm going back to see you
to bestow upon you such a joy
to give you the security and the commitment
and to show you a life path
i'm holding on...to hopefully be able to make a dream come true for you
and to see that you live through that dream to the best that you can

World Champions 2010

2010-07-12T12:04:00.002+08:00

and this morning....another world cup came to an end...possibly a rather unpredictable one in many ways...but definitely one that has brought various emotions and kinds of excitement to viewers...

but after all that has happened...the ultimate celebration is in finally being able to achieve the world cup title with Spain...having made it to their first one ever....coming shortly after their Euro title in 2008...this is the team that has created history for the country...and have gained respect....

Spain have been crowned World Cup 2010 winners...after a 115th minute goal by Andres Iniesta...assisted marvellously by Francesc Fabregas...and now...we shall all bask in ths glory of it for the next 4 years..... :)

viva la espana!

Red Letter Day

2010-07-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

you tell me that you love me.........

Prasetha's 22nd Birthday

2010-07-02T23:09:00.002+08:00

so it was a couple of days late..but then...we cant always have things on the days they were supposed to happen...and anyway..according to preetha, there was not supposed to be a celebration..but she felt bad for not having anything..so she decided to round something up as fast as she could...and hence the celebration earlier...

and so it was held..just a small group of people...at Rifos Cafe in East Victoria Park....at 630pm...i drove there myself...since sandhya's in singapore...too bad for her.. :p it was alright...i had half a pizza...a slice of ice cream cake...and a glass of rose wine...and then sat around...chatted a bit...and left by 945pm.......

and now i'm just staring about....

just thinking of you..

it was a great afternoon with you, you know... :) glad that i had it....

Emotions XXXIII

2010-07-01T19:04:00.002+08:00

to see someone frequently...and to say you miss her..for the times in between when you dont see her..is sweet...it shows you're thinking of her..

to not see someone over an extended period of time...yet to still be able to miss her..without even knowing why you do...is a sign that you've fallen hard..and it's not a matter of thinking...it's become a longing...

for someone who gets to see her soon...someone who knows that there's still a tomorrow.. just being able to look at her for an extra five minutes makes the beautiful moment last that much longer...

for someone who knows that it's going to be a while...and who doesnt know what's in store...just to get five minutes' worth of contact...creates an intensity which words cant describe...and the effect of that moment..which carries on for long....

someone who knows it's been done...who's been confirmed...who's been accepted...is able to focus on the future...and foresee the brightness it carries...

someone who has no clue...who plays a gamble every day...makes the best out of every moment..does the best to ensure that there still will be a tomorrow...

It Doesn't Matter

2010-06-27T09:59:00.001+08:00

it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter...

Stupid Stupid Cold

2010-06-26T10:36:00.002+08:00

and i cant even believe that it's not july yet...

stupid cold...just keeps on getting colder...

of course...i could always say...i'm thankful for not being the trees outside...or the stray cat or dog..or the car that's parked out in the open....they've got no way of escaping the cold..their lives left to suffer in its wake...

but i dont have to..except that...all that i try to do to counter it..doesnt work...it's like when it's mid summer here..and you try to leave the fan on..it only blows hot air...when it's cold here..the heaters just dont get hot enough...because it's too cold even for them....

stupid weather....

wishes it was november....

oh but then again...i do wish it was november for another reason....... ;) i get to see you again...

And The Cold Kicks In

2010-06-25T09:55:00.002+08:00

and here i am..first time having the heater on...in the morning...because...this cold..is just driving me crazy....

the heater itself takes ages to warm the room anyway....just a waste of electricity....

can you believe it was 2 degrees last night?...and it's only 7 degrees now...at 10am...of course, it's bound to get warmer by midday..but i have to last until then...still...it's claimed that it's not cold enough to snow yet...i dont think i want to experience that...

at least the rains havent really much started..not that it hasnt been raining..but i guess occasionally a little downpour is fine..and acceptable..especially when you are inside the house...

it's winter in south africa as well..but the players there dont seem to mind...portugal vs brazil tonight..important match...not just for the players but for the supporters of teams in Group H...who will eventually have to play either one of these two Group G teams...

unless of course, Ivory Coast make it through....

can you feel the heat?!!! erm..no i cant.....*shivers*

Yet Another Month

2010-06-22T21:33:00.002+08:00

can you believe that i have not updated anything for a whole month?...or that i even said anything about end of semester..or the exams....or that i was alone at home for a period of time....or even more surprising, that i have not mentioned anything about turning a year older...... :x

well...that's basically what has happened in the past month...i celebrated my birthday at this north indian restaurant called D'Tandoor in South Perth with a number of people, both family friends and university friends, and then spent the late night at Northbridge dancing and drinking away...

i still had about a week of lessons before my grandma returned from india, so i was basically caught in school for that period...clearing submissions and making sure everything went well for the end of semester...the only good thing that was different as a result of being alone was that i was able to return home much later than i normally did...

the exams went by during the second and third week of june, and my exam dates stretched from one end to the other..so..i guess it was a good timetable in one way, but really irritating considered that most of the others ended theirs much earlier...

and now i'm still at home...waiting for things to happen..time to kill...until july 26th......

It's The End Of 22

2010-05-20T19:50:00.003+08:00

can you actually believe that i have lived 22 years in this world?....how many nights i've been going to sleep and waking up...how many breaths i must have taken...how many words i have spoken...how many times my heart has had to beat.........

and yet...it is not over...the optimistic would say, it's far from over...to many people..it's just another day tomorrow...another friday...to me...it's the start of another year...i would be embarking on my 23rd year as a human being in this world, insignificant to the process of evolution, but still a part of the lives of others...

but then again...one doesnt really change with the knowledge that one is a year older....after all..time, as we know it, was created by humans themselves to provide a sort of consistency to events and to create a systematic world to live in...a birthday is not something real...it's just an event given to a date...technically, you dont grow one year older...

still....when there is a reason to celebrate, why waste it...but becoming older seems to lose its magic as time goes by...maybe it's just the fact that people dont value their life in due time...they dont see the beauty of being able to live and breathe and to absorb the sights and sounds around them...there is no purpose in life...or there is no reason to find the purpose in life...and then when one becomes senior...that magic returns...and each year that passes by becomes worthy of recognition more than the previous one...because that's when the finiteness of life is understood...that we are all puppets in a large-scale production...we are here as actors to play a role...and to fulfill a greater destiny..which we shall never see...working for a goal which was not set by us....

at times you wonder, what's the point of living yet another year....the Earth will still go round without you...and populations still progress....but then you think...what the heck..if you've been given another year...might as well take it...since it's not going to affect anyone else....

and hey, at least a birthday is still something to look forward to....

Cold Thursday

2010-05-06T17:27:00.002+08:00

and here i am, in the midst of reading through my pharmacology chapter on drug interactions, deciding to put up a post..on specifically nothing..but just to let people, or whoever still reads this (including me), know that i am alive....

in spite of the cold...

yes i know..it's not winter...so it's not THAT cold..and no need to make an issue out of it..but i think it is...but actually that's just the house..why do they make houses like this?! that retain the coolness of the air inside it...i mean, i guess it was built with summer in mind, when the inside of the house remains cool, while it's scorching outside..but then, it's cold for more than half of the year here....so what should the priority be?!!!!

so i didnt have school today..this is just the benefit of having two labs which occur on certain weeks...my psychology lab which is once every two weeks..and my pharmacology lab which is once every three weeks..so there's bound to be a couple of weeks in the semester where it happens such that i dont have a lab at all, and today is one of those days...but i have a pharmacology test tomorrow..so yeah...it isnt really something to celebrate anyway...

but it's taken me ages to read through just 4 lectures...and i am not even finished on the 4th..and i still have one more...and that still doesnt mean that i'm ready for it...and it's all because i've been eating random stuff..and mainly...shivering.........

stupid weather...cant keep still because of it.....

Hiatus

2010-04-10T20:19:00.002+08:00

yeah..so..i dont know what the actual reason was...maybe i was really busy..or maybe i was just plain lazy...or maybe i just didnt have anything to say...but yeah..i've been away for quite a while i know...so i've decided..there's no point having one up if you dont ensure that it's being used...and so i told myself that i have to post something up again..before i lose the whatever little audience that i have now...or maybe it's just because i've gotten used to not posting..hmm..

but really..what can i say ....since 6th or march...it's just been school...yeah okay...except for this week...which is supposed considered the Easter break...although Easter ended on Monday...but i guess it just fit so well into the acadmic calendar as well that they thought they might have both in one..but the thing is...the Easter school break is from Monday to Friday...but the Easter holidays end on Monday..with Easter Monday being a public holiday....and so...we dont get to experience that public holiday..so we lose a day!!!

not that i can be extremely bothered though..it's not as though i actually do something during Easter...i almost didnt even eat chocolates...but there still have been functions...like my cousins' dance graduation happening on Easter Sunday...after so many years of learning..ever since they were so young...step by step...they've finally graduated..although people say that it's just the beginning anyway...and that all those years of practice were just to achieve the beginner's level...haha..you can never seem to reach the highest point eh?...

chandrika had a birthday party yesterday evening...since she was turning 21..and yeah i went for that...not too long..but good enough to enjoy some party time and company...and then i came back home...

and the days have just been getting colder...although it's more obvious in the nights...as much as people...(or mostly, just me) dread the passing days...it will eventually come and we have to prepare for it...

oh ya..speaking of which...the hailstorm..yeah that's worth posting..i think it was the 22nd of March...when at about 4pm in the evening...suddenly dark clouds came by..and strong winds blew..and everybody was like..losing their mood because it signified a thunderstorm..and people were wondering how long it would last so that they could get back and all that stuff...but no....once the precipitate started to fall...what touched the ground was not droplets of water that harmlessly splat on the ground...it was killer rain....ping pong ball-sized pieces of ice just started raining down...and yeah..so it may have happened like once or twice before...but those only lasted at the most 5 minutes..as either a prologue to the rain..or a passing excitement...but this lasted a good 20 minutes..or maybe slightly more...causing everything to break apart...trees fell..and branches flew...car alarms went off..windscreens got smashed...the whole place just became white...and slightly smoky as well..since the hail stones started to evaporate once they came into contact with the ground...and when it finally stopped....there was so much ice on the roads..and when they started to melt...it caused flooding all over...places were flooded up to knee length....traffic and street lamps went off...shops had to close down....what was once seen as a dead town became as though it was never even founded...

but....damaging as it may be....it was still cool stuff....

maybe it might happen again?... ;) hopefully on my birthday....that would be so much cooler.. :)

SCC Annual Concert 2010

2010-03-06T22:00:00.003+08:00

as with every year that has passed...i have always had a post regarding the annual concert...and going on about how wonderful it was..and what significances came with it..but this year...it is sad in that...although the concert was still on earlier tonight...i was unfortunate enough not to be able to be a part of it, because i am situated like so many thousands of miles away...here in perth.....

nevertheless..i am sure it would have been successful in its own right...and that there was much fun and joy involved and experienced...another year to commemorate...and another level in standard to maintain and improve on...

and me?...well i've just finished my second week of school...and that's about it..been an alright two weeks...nothing really special in any way...the weather's starting to cool...and autumn is sort of stepping in...what can i say?..the worst months are returning...

sunday tomorrow..and possibly another day generally spent at home..another long lazy day..however...time can pass as slowly as it wants..but it can never stop moving...so i will eventually have to reach the end of the semester and then, the end of the year....and then move on to the next....gosh...that's such a long time ahead...........................................

Feel The Heat

2010-02-27T09:39:00.003+08:00

the first week of school's done..and it's been an alright saturday so far...started off pretty cool...considering how the previous week went by...with maximum temperatures of 42 degrees..and still remaining above the thirties even late into the night...been really such a heatwave...and the hottest period was supposed to be over...with february ending now as well....

the week in school has been quite relaxed..with no labs or tutorials for the first week..and almost all lectures being introductory ones...there has been more than enough time to waste on non-academic stuff..which i feel is a good way to start the semester..before we start kicking in from monday onwards...

but of course, in order to reach monday...i'll have to live through the weekend first.. ;)

The First Day Of School

2010-02-22T21:59:00.002+08:00

and it has finally begun....and what a day it was to start with...no, it wasnt that much of a fulfilling one...i only had two lectures for the entire day..such is my timetable..but still..just the journey of going to school..and walking to lectures..and sitting down and preparing to write stuff...and listening to what they have to say..and then sometimes not even listening when it seems as though you are...

the day went quite alright...spent a bit of time on lunch...just wasting the hours away...and met a couple of others after my afternoon lecture as well..and then kind of came home a little earlier...like...reached home like about 5pm..since we had already pre-planned to visit someone's house in Duncraig...and my grandma had already called them to say that we were coming..so made the drive all the way there...stayed for dinner..and ate generously as well.. :x .. and then came all the way back...

another day at school tomorrow...most probably another slow moving day...due to the lack of lessons..and considering that the labs havent started yet...so..yeah..but still.. looking forward to it... :)

UWA Orientation Day 2010

2010-02-19T23:35:00.002+08:00

so yeah...today i did go down for O-day..quite a carnival...it was just interesting to walk about and see how they advertise their own clubs and events...lively atmosphere...but most of all, it was great to catch up with friends after the holiday break...back to school very very soon..and it should start to get fun again..

stayed around for a bit..and then chatted at the guild cafe...before moving over to Broadway for lunch...after which i went with hannah to the airport to receive lavenia from her afternoon arrival flight..met alfred there at the airport as well..since he was there to fetch kimberly...so stayed a while there as well...enjoying the company and catching up for a bit...

alfred went off with kim..and lavenia came with hannah and me..hannah drove to my place first...to drop me off before travelling back to st george's to help lavenia settle into her room...the timing was right..no one was at home when they came...so since they came all the way..i thought i'd make use of the opportunity to invite them in...have a look around...after all it's not everyday that i bring people home..glad they could stay for a while...

after they left..i just unwinded a bit...and let the rest of the evening pass by...another day closer to start of semester...just lying in wait... :)

4 Nights To Start Of Semester

2010-02-18T23:34:00.002+08:00

and it's getting nearer...

tomorrow i shall head off down to school though..not because school has started..but just for the O-day carnival...which they have for those undergoing the orientation thing..but i dont need to be oriented into anything..so i'm just going for the fun of it...it's been a while since i've been around the company of the kids at university...so it's a good chance to relive those moments without the worry for any precious study time wasted...since lessons havent actually begun yet..

was out today visiting a couple of people...a not-so-closely related aunt in Sorrento...and some family friends in Leeming...quite a lot of driving done just for that...

i've got to start sleeping early as well..i've said that like days ago...even when i first landed here...but as the days progressed, i've actually been sleeping later and later...and then when i do end up lying down, i just stare with my eyes open towards the ceiling....how would i ever expect myself to fall asleep in that way...

still one thing that doesnt change..is that the days in perth continue to pass by so slowly...even on a day like this where you are fully booked with activities...it still seems that there is so much time to carry them out..the day just refuses to end..but of course..there are still those people who continue to hope that it stays that way....

so much for telling myself to sleep early...and i am still staying up to post this... :s

Perth Yet Again

2010-02-16T00:55:00.002+08:00

and yes...as of 4 hours ago...my location in the world has returned back to perth...here i am, yet again, waiting for the commencement of the semester, for which i am destined to fight through and make it to the other side, with the winter holidays a pitstop, to catch my breath, before moving on right till the end of the year..

everything went on well leading up to my return to perth...now all i can hope for is that it lasts from here on...

but first i am somehow going to have to live through this week....it's back to the snail like movement of the ticking of the second-hand..and the drag that comes with each passing day...

nevertheless, no matter how slow time passes, it still has to reach somewhere...and next week will eventually come...so why not just sit back and wait for it eh?.... ;)

Away For 5 Weeks...At Home..

2010-02-14T22:35:00.002+08:00

yes...i know...the blog has been left unattended..not that it has been forgotten...no..i still reply to the comments left behind...but yes...i have spent this past 5 weeks in a more interesting way...back home..in singapore...only when you have been away will you know what home truly is...

of course, many people were responsible in making my stay here much more enjoyable...by meeting me on certain days for certain events...and before i leave for perth tomorrow...i would like to use this post as a form of gratitude to everyone who has played a part somehow... :)

A big thanks to :

January 16 - Paradiz Centre (Denny, Samuel, Llukelly, Fook Siong, Rui Yuan)
January 20 - Al-Ameen (Benedict, Winston), SCC Activity (NP SCC)
January 21 - Lunch at Bukit Gombak (Jocelyn)
January 22 - Crystal Jade Ngee Ann City (Justine)
January 26 - Sakae Sushi Clementi (Huijia, Tiffany), PartyWorld KTV Clementi (Jessica, Christine, Samantha, Victoria)
January 27 - Choa Chu Kang Park (Karis, Sherline, Shirley, Aaron)
January 29 - Jurong Point (Denny)
January 30 - Annalakshmi and Jamming (Benedict, Winston, Fun, Wanting, Ernest, Kent, Cheryl, Priscilla)
February 02 - Beauty World (Edwin, Aaron, Kelvin)
February 04 - Dian Xiao Er Lot 1 (Tiffany)
February 08 - Farmart Centre (Karis, Sherline, Shirley, Aaron, Yuan Shing)
February 09 - Jack's Place Parkway Parade (Jessica), Starbucks Coffee Plaza Singapura (Rumya)
February 11 - Annalakshmi (Jocelyn, Benedict, Huijia, Tiffany, Weiming), Clarke Quay and Liang Court (Rumya)
February 12 - Highlander Scottish Bar and Restaurant (Denny, Samuel, Fook Siong, Elvin, Rui Yuan, Llukelly, Jey, MSG Tan), Little India (Rumya)
February 14 - Harbourfront and Novena (Rumya)

huge thanks to all of you....really...the 5 weeks would have been totally different without you people...miss you all...and hope to see you very, very soon... :)

Emotions XXXII

2010-01-06T23:41:00.002+08:00

way before it comes,
you can laugh at it...
you can make fun of it...
you can pretend to embrace it..
you can truly embrace it...
you can make it happen...
you can try to go as close to it a possible...
you may fear it..
you may plan for it...
you may think it will never affect you...
you may shudder at the uncertainty of it..
you can even cheat it...

just before it comes,
you begin to worry about it...
you become sensitive to things concerning it..
you become attentive to it...
you wait for it...
you dont like waiting for it..
you hope you dont have to wait for it...
you know no matter what you hope, you still are waiting for it..
you are unsure what happens after it..
you dont know whether to embrace it..
you learn to accept it..
you hope the best comes out of it...

but after it comes?... you dont know yet... that's the least of your issues now....

Summer Bonding

2010-01-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

and just like that..the second day of the new year is almost over..another 363 more to go before we live through the hype of transiting again..

the days have still been pretty simple and routine..so much for the new year...still feel as though i've not left the previous one behind yet..but some things have still been going on occasionally..and i'm glad that hannah has had a major part to play in it as well...

it seems i've been dropping by her place quite often over the past week... including today, making it 3 times in a week..but for no particular reason...just for the fun of it...and she openly welcomes me in everytime...genuinely glad for any form of company..for which i am more than happy to provide..

we never really did much, though, over the past few times...but i guess it was the fact that someone else was there that mattered more..however, we did fancy the outdoors today..after completing some shopping..we headed down to Caltex to grab a Magnum each...something we havent done since the commencement of the summer break..and then we walked on down to and along Matilda Bay...for quite a bit..before eventually taking a rest on a bench by the river...

yeah..i know what you guys are thinking.. i dont like sand and water, what am i doing by the riverside right?...... well... it wasnt that bad..it wasnt really a beach, anyway...just the part where the land meets the river..so the shoreline wasnt that wide anyway...and water is fine, as long as none of it ends up on me...so we just sat there and looked towards the scenery of the South of the River...

left there at about 5pm...cos i had to walk back to her house since i had parked the car there...took the drive back...fetched my sis from work...and then went off after that...back to the normal lifestyle...

what was the point of posting this up?.. haha.. all because i told hannah that any event which you think went lovely and is worth remembering should be reason enough to post on your blog...and no point in me telling people to do that, but not doing it myself, right?.........

Letting 2009 Pass...

2009-12-31T22:37:00.002+08:00

yes i know.. so i've been away from updating for like quite some time..and for those who constantly kept revisiting this page in the hope of something new.. i'm really sorry you were continuously disappointed..but i felt that my days have become so monotonous that there isnt a point in posting posts with similar content daily...then you guys'll get bored of reading and then totally not drop by at all anymore..since you can more or less predict the next post...

but being the last day of the year.. i think.. it's only celebratory to post something..at least this will go down in the blog's archive..and i can look back saying that i was aware that 2009 was ending and i bothered to post something on that day...

well..to start off .. i guess today's supposedly a special day..and the night just gets better...well for some people at least...it's 18 degrees in the middle of summer!!! how wrong is that!! stupid summer..why does it get colder so randomly....but i guess it gives the feeling for those celebrating..maybe like a pseudo-winter effect...

as cliched as it may be, 2009 wasnt the best year for me i guess... but then again, it wasnt the worst...i thought it was a rather okay year...just another was that had to pass by..and one that i just had to live through...i mean.. unfortunately i made it through 2008..and in order to reach 2010, i had to endure 2009, right??...so it has come..and will eventually be gone...

i guess 2009 has been a year for realisation and nurturing experiences...and it has definitely been a break away year, in more ways than one...

the Kaleidosound VI concert in March...highly likely my last concert ever in Ngee Ann...to which i didnt manage to perform vocals...but i still got to be on stage...drumming for Ivy's song..and rocking out on the guitar for Benedict's...quite an ending it was...and to realise that i cant hold on to NP Song Composing Club forever...people enter... make an impact..and then they leave..that's how it's always been as each batch progressed...

i havent travelled anywhere in quite a while...so to get the opportunity to do so in April.. and that too without family...was way too good an opportunity to miss....with a group of dudes from the army and I spending a week in taipei...freedom..from food..to shopping... to nightlife... to whatever...it was short..but it was a great experience...an eye-opener..i wouldnt mind going there again... but i need to pick up my Mandarin again..... ;)

possibly the main highlight of the year was the result of a constant dedication which lasted 2 years...my ORD in May...the day which seemed so far away when i first enlisted..and who was i kidding..it was far away!...that day which never seemed to come...but you knew it would eventually...just that it seemed to take much longer than it should have...but life definitely looks different from the other side of NS...once you've done it.. you realise..you actually do learn things during your time inside...and there are things you are grateful for... but the euphoria you experience on that day...that's two years' worth of it.....

it was also in May where i had to experience a feeling totally opposite from that..with my first break up..people say.. to forget the past and keep looking forward and moving on...well, that's true...but some things that you go through in life..it's worth remembering..and some moments are meant to be kept within...you dont just forget some things like that.. till now, i still feel.. the decision to break up wasnt fair, but it was necessary...but i've learned how to pick up from there and embrace the moments before that..those that were pleasing and those that didnt work out...for there is something to take back from any given incident...

I turned 22 in May as well..and with the post-ORD celebrations...it was quite a week...but i am glad i managed to get time to spend with those people during that week...it feels good to be able to share your joy with others...but that shone new light onto me...turning 22..i'm done with all the fantasies of 16, 18 and 21....and now .. i guess i am on course for the real life ahead...

and yet again in May... a rather big change took place.. when i had to leave singapore for perth..to persue my degree here..well..what can i say..you dont work hard in the beginning, you face the consequences in the end...coming to perth wasnt easy..and still isnt...but being in perth has it's good points as well..and my life in perth hasnt been totally horrendous...and now..my first semester is done..things seem more settled...i guess it shouldnt be so bad from now on... :)

July brought the beginnings of my social life..with orientations and then classes..where i managed to meet groups of people from different lifestyles and countries..and realised that we're all different..but are all there for the same purpose...it is quite an interesting atmosphere to live in...and as winter transitted into spring...it was more than just the blossoming of the flowers.....

my first major exams took place starting from the end of October... and into November..where after that i had my first summer break...which i am still having now...with the lack of daily happenings and watching the temperatures fluctuate from 18 to 40 degrees on any given day....and my cousin's engagement in December..which was such an event, that it lasted over the course of two weeks...party after party after party... big moment in life for her as well...it just makes us realise how much we've grown....

and here i am..on the 31st of December 2009...sitting in my room, reminiscing all these...just to type it out...and keep it stored..so that one day..i am able to read back at this post..and go...seems like 2009 really wasnt that bad a year.....

2010 should still be a good year...i mean... there arent any good or bad years...it just depends on how you allow the events during the year to affect you..after all, it's the same 12 months with the same 7 days...still...best wishes for everyone...and hope you make something out of 2010..you've got a whole year ahead of you now....

PS oh.. and Spain will win the World Cup.... ;)

Happy New Year! (i'm 45 minutes early.. haha)

Back To Singapore, Mom

2009-12-16T21:57:00.002+08:00

and today marked the end off the week that my mum came down here...till next time....

it has been quite a few days...but most of it was spent on the roads actually...went to Belmont on sunday...just for the sake of doing so...hung around there...and then came back in the afternoon..yep...the shops were open on a sunday...that's something you dont get often here in perth...but december is a special month after all....but you should have seen the crowd...if only the shops bothered to open during weekends throughout the whole year......they'll be earning so much....but despite it all, they still fail to see it...

i went to university on monday..to help reshme settle some stuff...given that she is in kuala lumpur now and wanted some transcripts sent over to some guy along st george's terrace...it was a good chance for me to go out though...but before doing that.i decided to make the full use of that opportunity and head down to hannah's first...being such a nice friend and all... i dedicated my time, energy and petrol consumption towards her...and she was nice enough to accompany me through the late morning handling the stuff i originally set out to do...

tuesday was spent at quite a couple of places...left in the morning again...driving down to South Perth...where my mum and sis went to see some agent about my sis and her PR application and all that stuff and whatever....went from there to university, since my mum decided to open an account in the bank and that the branch in the city was not worth it considering that parking in the city had to be paid....after that, nobody really wanted to go back...so my sis suggested Morley for the rest of the morning...and i drove up there after that...again..we just went for the sake of it...no particular reason, except than to see the place...and do some random shopping...mainly my mum and sis, of course...had lunch there and then drove back home...rested a bit..and then left for Carine to visit some family friend in the evening...which was again, quite a drive...

and today......again left in the morning, but this time, to make the drive to the Perth Airport...and not for the sake of it of course...but to send my mum off...her last trip of the year.....since we were there, my sis and i went over to Forrestfield after sending my mum through the gate, where we did some shopping, before coming back to Willeton to continue with some other shopping stuff...and then back home...which of course resulted in lunch being late...

but what the heck...the days are now back to being eventless...lunch...dinner...who cares when you have them anymore........

A Day Of Celebration

2009-12-12T20:26:00.002+08:00

and to think that i should have posted this yesterday actually, but i ended up sleeping early..well, anyway...yesterday was quite a day, not only for me, but for all of my family...but especially for one particular person from my family...that being my cousin sister..it was a day of celebration.....for her engagement...

yeah..so she's only 21...but still.. her parents thought the time was right and hence an engagement ceremony took place...went to her house early in the morning to prepare for the morning prayers..this priest came down and conducted it...after which he was there to witness the signing of the marriage certificate.... (yeah i know..it was supposed to be an engagement)..presents were exchanged from the bride and groom's family...okay..technically, the fiance and fiancee's family..or something like that....cant be bothered with the genitives...

there was a light breakfast after that, before all of us headed down to the temple at Canning Vale, where there were more prayers...and the ceremonial exchange of rings took place....with more sweets and savoury stuff after that of course....

the next part was heading over to The Turban Indian Restaurant at Melville for lunch...some buffet..which although was vegetarian..was rather good stuff..and considering that i have indian food like everyday at home...saying that is really something...and of course...there were sweets as well..with me having what i think is my personal record of 5 gulab jamuns....great stuff...

spent a couple of hours there..and yet...the day wasnt over...everyone was invited to a gathering at the guy's house..okay well..actually it's his mother's place...considering he actually stays nearby..and not really in that house...and his mom..well...she stays in a 3 storey house by herself...cool huh....so we travelled down to Burswood..that's where she stays..and guess what..more sweet stuff there...with a variety of cakes and crackers...all rich in whatever sinful ingredient used to make them...

my poor body..having to accept all that intake...

but one hell of a celebration nonetheless..

left there at some time after 5pm and drove back home...sort of worn out after that..but still...i did end up having dinner..consisting of soup, tuna and bread....and you would think after all that i wouldnt be able to find the appetite....

it's days like these which kill you......but it's also these days which you live for..and which remain important throughout your lives....

Confirmed End To The First Semester

2009-12-06T19:59:00.002+08:00

and the days still keep on passing by...waking up after the sun rises and sleeping after it sets...oh ya..the sun rises like real early nowadays..i think about 5:30am you can see the rays peeping over...or maybe it's 5:45am...well..it's definitely earlier than the 7:30am it used to rise back during winter...and that can only mean one thing...coupled with the fact that it is setting later as well..not very late yet...but considerably later compared to the 5:30pm it used to set in winter...it can only mean the coming of summer....

the temperatures have risen..and nights have become hot..but this is just the beginning...highs of 32 are considered average during summer...so when summer really kicks in... it's time for sweltering heights...but it may be fun......apart from the flies......

still, holidays mean many things to people....some take it as a time to relax and sit back...some take it as a time to travel...for some, it's when they can focus on working and making money, while some rather spend it eating and drinking....some people even think of it as a great time to come down with H1N1 or chicken pox....but for all school going humans walking the upside down world of the land Down Under...holidays also means.. the time for the release of the examination results..

for university kids, it's more than just exam marks...it's a grade for the whole semester..for that module...for which a pass frees you from its grasp and allows you to progress further without ever having to go back to it...once it's done, it's over...well..the knowledge you attained stays of course, but the subject as such is over...

and this time...i've decided..along with a change in education level...and a change in environment...and a changing weather...to have a change in my blog posts as well...and for the first time, i've decided to post my results on this page..for whatsoever reason... you can come up with your own reasons to convince yourself... i'm just doing it for fun..

one thing to familiarise with here, is of course, the grading system..marks are calculated and converted to 100...obviously that means anything above 50 is considered a PASS....by achieving 60, you would have obtained a CREDIT...70 provides you with a DISTINCTION .... and 80 clears you for a HIGH DISTINCTION....there's no higher grading...so getting 80 or getting 95 isnt going to do anything different for you...

and here it is....

Human Biology II - Being Human 70
Organic Chemistry 68
Biological And Inorganic Chemistry 76
Statistics B 85

okay that's it....

i am officially cleared for first semester....ready for the new semester... but i still have to get through the holidays first............

Cooking At Hannah's

2009-12-02T20:28:00.002+08:00

and yet...another couple of people will be heading off back to wherever they came from....with samantha and audrey leaving for singapore over the weekend...but i guess the most impactful departure will be that of karl, who is going back to sweden not just for the summer holidays, but for good, due to personal reasons.. but however, he will still be continuing his studies there...

so in order to sort of give a significance to such an event, it was decided that we hold a lunch, just for the sake of gathering, at hannah's place, which seems to hold quite a number of celebrations and partying...but with alfred, kimberly, linn and christine already gone...we were expecting something smaller anyway...

so i dropped by her place at about 11am, after bad luck with the transport, seemingly missing the bus and the train and then conveniently taking the bus after that from the esplanade which i thought went to her place, which did, but had to make a turn just before reaching her bus stop..... it just had to....

hannah drove us to broadway where we did some shopping...we thought we'd give something asian for karl, considering that such food might be harder to come by in sweden, and even if it was there, it wouldnt have that flavour which we all seem to crave and relish....came back to her place and got down to making the food....

after all that cutting and cooking... (and crying.... thanks to the onions)...we finally came up with noodles, tomyum chicken, chilli bean sprouts and beancurd and a zucchini salad with chives dressing...felt good to eat self made food...and then we just sat down to eat and gossip and let the topics pass by as they come...it was relaxing..and definitely enjoyable...

and what better way to enjoy it further than with vodka, which was opened later in the afternoon..i mixed mine with cranberry concentrate, which is kind of like a killer..considering the mixer was in concentrated form, so it was just like drinking sugar...together with the vodka...haha...the rest had it with tonic water or just as pure shots...

at about 5pm, i helped hannah wash up and keep the plates and stuff...and then she dropped me back...(after dropping karl and samantha first)..that was nice of her actually...driving all the way to the south of the river to drop me... but that makes her the first person to actually drive straight up to my house though... :)

great stuff...that's what i call a great day out....although we were fully indoors...

The End Of November

2009-11-29T20:07:00.002+08:00

okay..not really..there's still tomorrow....

but just like that...a month has passed...okay..well we wont look at it as a month....considering my last paper was on the tenth...so i'm like 19 days from it now...so .. 19 days has passed...and i havent done anything actually...each day was such a drag...i feel i've actually grown older...well okay..technically i have..but you know what i mean..

and today...christine left for overseas...okay...not exactly overseas...more like going back home...where we are now is considered overseas...and that's after kimberly and alfred and lavenia and jessica and yihui all went back to singapore...and kaye and tiffany and mui mui back to malaysia..and linn to sweden.....everybody's going back some way or another...audrey and karl and samantha and louise will be going sometime around next weekend as well...

so it's just ME and YOU, hannah!! at least for now....oh wait...victoria is still here as well...

no one has replied me about any job vacancies or interviews yet...but i'm still giving them time..considering that everything here takes time to take effect...

it's actually 20 degrees now outside...i think that is rather okay for a night...there's nothing wrong with it being 20 degrees...why couldnt it have started earlier...but then again..it's only a little past 8...it's still expected to drop further...till about 14...

and tomorrow starts another week....crossing over into december...still ... the end of the holidays is far from near...it's like starting back from 1 all over again........

iTouch Test

2009-11-28T20:37:00.001+08:00

And this is a test post from iTouch....to see if it gets posted up....

Movie Double

2009-11-24T20:52:00.002+08:00

so today was like the first time i actually went out with friends for the day..and it was agreed to spend the day watching not one, but two movies...two relatively long ones.... so that sort of completed the whole day actually...

plus i also managed to satisfy my desires for watching both 2012 and New Moon...okay..well New Moon wasnt exactly a desire..it's just that...after reading the book and watching the first movie...it just sort of seemed like i should watch that as well...sort of to gives a sense of completion...aiyah...mainly just to see how the chapters in the book were portrayed throughout the scenes in the movie and to identify an actual person with the name...it wasnt that bad anyway...having already read it..but what else can you expect from a simple romance movie...

2012 was a different story..i am glad that i watched that...definitely a good production and great length as well..paying money for that was definitely worth it...all that constant action and build up...the varying emotions and the suspense...just wonderful...i mean...whether or not something like that actually happens in real life, that's a different issue..but believing for that moment that it was possible, made the movie more remarkable....like as though it was an insight...or rather, foresight....to what calamities may potentially arise..

just why the Mayans had to predict 21st December....and not 20th December...kind of sad....20/12/2012 would have looked better...but then i guess having that would further make the whole idea seem like a fairy tale as it would be something people would expect anyway...

great day...

oh ya.....linh, louise and shakeel came with me....although linh didnt watch New Moon after that...saying that she had already done so....conveniently...

Bored Geek

2009-11-20T22:07:00.002+08:00

and within the past two days, mostly today though, i seem to have exhausted the activities provided by my laptop...with having literally nothing else to do besides eat bowls of chocolate ice cream with extra chocolate, i've maximised the joys of IT...i've been on youtube, facebook, forums, windows live, emails, school stuff...searched random websites, done quizzes, watched clips, watched porn...plugged in my iPod, plugged in thumbdrive, inserted SD cards, played a DVD-ROM...i seem to have done it all...and now my eyes are constantly tired..and my head is getting heavier..and i feel like i've not benefitted in any way over the past 2 days...this is how it feels like to be a slob...

and i've to endure 3 months of this...unless of course, any of those companies i've sent my resume to actually get back to me some time next week...it'll keep me busy maybe...but at least i'll be breathing new things everyday..it'll be as though a new life has entered me...as though i have been enlightened...

and my body is desperately and persistently fighting against some bug that's trying to infect my body...or maybe not..it could just be the side effects of consuming wayyy too much junk food...too heaty...and wayyy to much increase in sugar levels...it's like you feel sick for the earlier hours of the day..then suddenly you're okay..then you feel hot later in the evening and then you're fine...but when you go to sleep, you realise your nose is blocked...but it opens when you begin dreaming...well..not that you know that your nose has opened when you dream..since you dont know anything when you are dreaming..but considering that you get to dream means you are sleeping undisturbed, meaning that your nose has to be open so that you do get that sound sleep...

oh...and it's the weekend tomorrow...technically...although it seemed to me as though the weekend never really passed...7 days in a week isnt it?... how many of those days are considered weekends?... ah yes..that's right....all of them......

save me...

Emotions XXXI

2009-11-15T22:54:00.002+08:00

again and again, we constantly choose to believe in reminding ourselves, that possibly what had happened was just a passing phase and that recent changes bring about new hopes and dreams..we think that as we continue to age, we become more defined in our actions...that we put more thought into them..that the choices we make seem to carry much more weight...they seem to show a thicker line between right and wrong...we feel that we tend to touch others more..we feel that people affect us more...we seem to believe that the people we meet later in life tend to understand us better, which gives the impression that bonds become stronger...

but, all said and done, we couldnt be any farther from the truth....their blood, after all, remains inside their bodies...their actions are based on their thoughts and their desires...there is always a constant security within themselves...they need to satisfy themselves...there is more that lies beneath their skin, for actions can be misleading, and emotions can be misinterpreted...

it is after all, that no matter how old we are, or the company we indulge in...we still remember, despite all that is said and shown to us, we remain alone throughout the course of our life...we share joys and tears, and we invite people to tread along our life path...but we are never fully connected with them...after all, they are looking out for themselves as well..depending on them only serves as temporary satisfaction...we survive because of what emerges from within us...everyone is being made use of...we are mainly seen as events that take place through the course of their lives, and we can be easily displaced...we are a bonus feature...which is never rejected..but isnt a necessity either...

'to live your own life'...that never seemed to have so much meaning before...

Summer Holidays

2009-11-12T17:21:00.002+08:00

it's interesting how i managed to put in a number of posts throughout the week of my exams, but once they ended, i just didnt seem to remember to update...it sort of makes posting become a method to destress rather than to celebrate...anyway..summer hasnt actually started yet, in fact, it's not even coming anytime soon, but the summer holidays have, to be precise, since tuesday afternoon...

and this marks the end of a semester for me, which is a good thing in a way..but to live through these 3 months can actually be quite difficult...and no thanks to the movement of time in perth...definitely one that is long as well..i've got to find a job, yeah i know..but i am lazy..but then...i dont have money either..

i went down to university today to get some information on the units for the next year..got to start choosing them from next week..and it was good...some doubts cleared up and all..took quite a while...so after that we headed down to broadway for lunch...we meaning audrey, alfred, christine, hannah, kimberly, linn and me...and then headed off down to the city...just for the fun of it...

it was sunny throughout the afternoon..i guess that was good...considering the weather in the morning..and that IT STILL RAINED!! .... just when you thought the rains were over...spring is such a stupid time of the year...so it was good to feel the heat while we were walking down the streets...also managed to drop by a karaoke studio at Northbridge, together with the company of audrey, christine and hannah, who so selflessly agreed to accompany me.. hopefully we might manage to drop by there some time soon...revive some special moments... :)

i didnt go back all the way...since it started getting late...so i parted ways at Perth, and hopped on the train back...but then...this cant last forever...got to start really focusing on doing something throughout the holidays...if not, it'll be a long 3 months... :s

Hypotheses Testing

2009-11-08T18:24:00.002+08:00

H0 : Statistics is worth studying.
H1 : Statistics is not worth studying.

How would you work this out? Obviously you can use ANOVA, since you are not comparing means..and not a chi-square test as well, because there arent proportions..so the tests may be simple..but be reminded that it is a two-tailed test due to the fact that H1 is not equal to 0, meaning it could be >0 or <0...you'll need to add in a confidence interval, but since it is not stated, i guess we can assume the widely used 95%...now all we need to do is to ensure that using a given set of data values, we can prove that the probability for H1 lies within the critical region, showing that there is enough evidence to reject H0...

but even if you bring this up...the argument will be that statistical information does not justify practical and experimental information...so you still lose in the end...

and all this is just for my last paper on tuesday...possibly one of the most boring units ever in the history of education, it's a wonder how some people can end up teaching it...but then..of course, everyone's tastes differ..i guess that's what makes the world interesting...but then, it isnt really a big thing to end exams..i mean..yes, the need for revision isnt there anymore..and no one can nag you to sit down and study, considering that the new semester brings about a whole new set of modules..but then..i guess, for a start, there really isnt much to look forward to for the 3.5 months without school..yeah i most probably should get some work..keep me active...but that's still just kept in waiting...

i guess i could start picking up some new guitar riffs...just make some noise...play random stuff...disturb the neighbours...scare his dog...

oh..and also start gaining maybe another 5 kg...that's like the most probable thing to happen over the holidays... :(

The Wonders Of Not Knowing

2009-11-03T22:01:00.002+08:00

and another one down today...with the Biological Inorganic And Physical Chemistry paper over...there's another 3 more to go...before calling it the end of a semester..it was an okay paper, but i had to rush for it..and eventually didnt complete it either..but should be enough to get me through...the only question is whether it is enough to please everyone else...

anyway, the time after that was spent rather interestingly..i went to broadway for lunch with audrey, jessica, hannah, lavenia and kimberly..which went rather well...stayed a while and then made our way back to library...or rather, all of us except jess and kim, since they preferred to concentrate on their stuff back at their individual colleges..

we headed back to the library, and settled down to do our own stuff...actually it was only me doing my own stuff, since i was like the only one preparing for human biology, while the rest decided to focus more on organic chemistry instead...

stayed till about 7 in the evening...considered quite late for me yeah..but it's not everyday i stay back anyway...slowly made our way out and parted ways..actually i just realised i dont know why we parted ways..i dont think hannah drove, or maybe she did, anyway she was going in the same direction as audrey...so i walked with lavenia out of school..

it is rather interesting to note that...we all know we are always assessing people around us..always thinking what they might be thinking..or considering if they are good people to be around with...we tend to make our own assumptions..and it is based on those assumptions that we construct our actions..because we think they will like something..or they will act in a certain way..and usually, we are experienced enough to reach a certain depth and truth in our assumptions, which is credited to our human capabilities of analysing and remembering...but then, sometimes, we are naive, or we are a little insensitive, and there are instances, when we realise that we are actually incorrect in our assumptions, and that whoever we are considering, carries something rather different to what we were given to believe...

and that is what makes things take a turn...for the better..when you realise the complexity of human behaviour..when you see to what extent emotions can be controlled and how they are sometimes unexpectedly shown..and it is at that period, when you see a new image being formed of that person...someone you may have known would be there, but was never portrayed...someone who remained hidden, either for personal reasons, or because there was no instance to showcase....it is then when you see someone for who they really are, and not who they seem to be...and then you feel awakened...and you realise you have never been fully right about that person, but you are glad of that, because your misinterpretations have led you to see a much more beautiful person...

Human Biology II Practical Exam

2009-10-29T18:28:00.002+08:00

and i have embarked on a new path here in perth...with the commencement of my first major examination period..yeah okay so there was a mid-semester exam..but i only had one module tested at that time...so that doesnt really count as major..

anyway...it's was quite a practical...with like 2.5 minutes to answer 5 questions for 11 stations...so it was like move, then write, then move again, then write..or more like scribble..but i guess it still went rather okay..or maybe..even better than okay..yeah so it wasnt perfect... but who wants perfection in the exams...

as you can guess, the exam ended almost as quickly as it begun, and jessica, alfred and kaye were allocated the similar slot as me..so after the exam we decided for the usual precursor for bonding and enjoyment...having a Magnum ice cream..well kaye didnt join us actually, she doesnt usually have the Magnum anyway...

so jess, alfred and i went down to broadway for jess to have lunch..and alfred to have his chicken drumstick...and then while jess did her shopping, we picked up a Magnum each...(Ecuador Dark this time)...and sat around talking about the exam and some random stuff and all that...

it was like such a great feeling to lose some of the burden from human biology through this practical exam..although the theory exam is going to have problems of its own..but for now, it's time to focus on inorganic chemistry..anyway..we parted after that...i dropped jessica back at St Catherine's College before coming back home...and i was so occupied with the freedom that i forgot the freeway experiences a jam at that time, and so i snailed throughout most of the journey back home...

and here we go....onward for the next one!!..

And That Was Just One Semester

2009-10-23T21:32:00.002+08:00

and so, as mentioned, today was the last day of the school term...now all i have to do is to await the arrival of the exams, which for me begin next thursday..although next week is considered to be the study week...and go on straight through till the 10th of november...and then it's what people here call summer holidays...

and with that, one semester has passed...it wasnt the hardest of semesters of course..but it was still different in its own way..fortunately for me, the people around me just kept getting better as the weeks progressed...and that made time spent in school much more fun...i guess everyone is getting used to the lifestyle and the expectations of the university...things may start to change next semester with all of us possibly starting to take different units..but this semester did provide a good foundation to what i hope is something that can be built upon...

the nights are getting slightly warmer...and the winds arent as constant as they used to be...also, when they do blow, it's doesnt bite you anymore...the temperature has been crossing 30 degrees over the past few days..but it is still good weather...but with the Sun lingering on in the cloudless sky more often than it used to...and with its setting time becoming later...it is time to bring out the sunscreen again...thanks (or no thanks) to the stupid hole in the ozone layer...

somehow i am going to have to actually really sit down and start preparing for the exams soon..it's not possible to keep procrastinating and then expecting results...if only i can just make it through the coming 2 weeks...and then hope to spend the 3.5 months after that enjoying the fact that i got what i deserved....

What Deepavali??

2009-10-19T18:51:00.002+08:00

and yes, Deepavali was like last saturday, the day before yesterday, but really, nothing much happened here...as you know, firstly, it's not even recognised in Perth...and secondly, no one was home at all anyway...so like any normal saturday, i just lived through it by eating and wasting time...

it's been quite a good start to this week..the last week of school...just getting nearer to the end of the term and the exams....but i still havent actually started anything much...i dont know when the drive and mental ability to concentrate will finally kick in...but it had better be soon...

and i finally had Japanese food for lunch today...okay..so it wasnt the best...what can you expect anyway...but psychologically, it was tasty enough...and it felt good eating it...but then i had to go get a bubble tea after that....Lemon Milk Tea.....imagine that...haha..

i should really get started...cant afford to waste yet another night...

Afternoon In The City

2009-10-15T18:18:00.002+08:00

so you know like how usually when a class ends early, you just dont want to go home...cos it's not like everyday that you get to have classes that finish before the semester is up...even though that means you are rather near to the exams and that free time which you have been given should actually be spent trying to prepare for them, but still you choose not to...well today was one of those days, and i am glad i made the right choice...

after ending at 11, we went down to somewhere along broadway...i cant believe i forgot the shop's name...and i finally had one of my goals met....that is to have an australian eclair...well i actually had about one and a half....so i got more than i asked for...i know.. it may be hard to believe that i've only had my eclair like after 5 months of being here...when it is sold in so many places...i dont know..i just dont end up buying it....

anyway i hope that those eclairs marked the end of my sugar intake this week...after having just plain chocolate and pastry for lunch over the week...as much as not having lunch ever tasting this good before, it's as good as a suicide mission...

i had a lot of time to kill, so while some of them made their way back to school for their stats lecture (which i dont have on thursday :) , i accepted a ride back to St Catherine's College in audrey's car , together with jessica, kimberly and alfred...stayed a bit in jess' room, while she prepared her stuff for whatever she was preparing for and made our way out back into the car...alfred left at this point...since we were going in the opposite direction from him...

so i pass by the city everyday...to travel to and from school....but i rarely shop in it though...mainly because the city closes in the evening and that's when i end my classes...and because i have nothing in particular to buy...and because the city is a little far from my house so there is no point going all the way there when you get the stuff you need within your area...so usually when i go to the city to galivant, it's usually because i happen to have time or that there is something needed which you can only get in the city....but this time, to walk around the city on a day after school, is something that i have missed ever since coming here to perth...

audrey drove us to harbourtown, which is this place which is supposedly somewhat cheaper than most of the shops in the city...and both the girls went from shop to shop...realising their fantasies and such...until we chanced upon hannah and lavenia in one of the shops...then it became a whole bunch of girls trying on different things for a while....but due to other activities already planned, audrey, hannah and lavenia left after a while....

jess had other things to buy after that, so we walked around harbourtown more...getting whatever she needed...and then agreed on a break from shopping for a while...and that was how we ended up at one of the dessert shops selling blended ice....and shared an Oreo on Ice.....so much for the eclairs being the end of the sugar intake....

we took a bus down to the centre of the city for her to get a few more things...and then we parted...she took a bus back to St Catherine's College, while i headed off for the train....

i know i usually dont post activites that happen during the day...and i find that doing that isnt as interesting either...but today was a good day...and i think it is worth noting down...

Gearing Up

2009-10-12T21:06:00.002+08:00

and today marks the first day of week 12 of the semester, out of 13...with today almost over..i guess it is about time to start getting things sorted out..cant possibly screw up my first exam here..but as usual, the drive is just not there...home is so like the worst place to study...

life has been as normal... except the cold seems to be returning for whatever reason..so much for 3 weeks into spring now..spent saturday and sunday night at the Swan Festival of Lights at the Bell Tower, Barrack Square...my first ever Swan Festival...i dont think i remember them having such an event back in Singapore though...or maybe just that i never bothered much back then...but the event was good, and the activities, presentations and all that stuff was beautiful....just that being located by the Swan River sort of brought in all the undesirable winds...

i've definitely been eating more over the past few weeks...either because i've just become greedy..or because i've been stressed out over i dont know what...or because food just seems to be more readily available....whatever the case...i have had an increase in intake...and as most people already know, or maybe they dont,......i dont like to eat a lot actually...i just do, because...well... just....

if only i can get myself to focus over the next 3 weeks...things should go much smoother...and after that i can let myself go...but it's not as easy as that....studying is just dumb....always been...but some people like it...good for them though....

it's only going to get messier....

No, I Am Not Dead Yet...

2009-10-02T16:11:00.002+08:00

it's been a while i know..but i've suddenly found the urge to update this page again..okay.. well..that might have been wrongly put.. i mean.. updating was like never boring to start with in the first place...just that, there hasnt been much to say...and those who have actually been reading this page... for the past..erm.. three years or so... would kind of know that i dont find any reason to just post my daily routine here for all to see... no point anyway...

well..one of the factors which supposedly inspired me to update...interestingly enough, was the fact that someone i know seemed to have started a blog of his own.. and i sort of though that the blog trend wasnt alive here in perth.. since no one i've met so far actually dropped hints or openly said that they had one...and so to actually see one...well.. it reminds you of the actual purpose of it..

of course, the other factors are because i am free...and not having anything important or urgent to do now..and i am in a mood to type..and no one is here at home to disturb me...and things like that...

recently the afternoons have been getting warmer, maybe in another week or two, they should become more stable in terms of unpredictable weather conditions..although the mornings and nights still tend to be cold...the rains have become less frequent too, which is also a good thing, since the next feeling you want to avoid, after being cold, is being wet....or worse.. being both...

school has been kind of routine, there's nothing much that can be labelled as 'exciting' so far...though the company has been interesting throughout...it's october and everyone's minds are on the finals coming up...starting at the end of the month...a very boring month in short...

nevertheless, i've still been eating... without any visible concern of anything... i must have put on yet another few kilos, although most people would just look at me..and then push it aside as an unimportant issue...saying that a few kilos isnt going to change anything anyway...but that's not the point...

my mum'll be here till sunday afternoon...didnt really spend much time with her.. just the nights usually...but she didnt have many plans anyway..just spent the week with her parents...and then it's back to singapore for her until the end of the year...

i've got to go bathe soon as well... given the amount of time i tend to spend under the shower...it was mainly because the hot water seemed so much more comfortable than the cold atmosphere within the house... but that was mostly during the winter...i believe it has turned into such a hard habit to break now..so i shall conveniently assume the air in the bathroom to still be as cold, allowing me to continue to believe in the false reasoning for my long baths...at least until a later date...

time to go get burnt.... :)

To Be Human

2009-09-09T21:22:00.002+08:00

it isnt an easy world we live in...it seems that other people are considerably the only thing we have apart from ourselves, yet it always seems to be a challenge to meet and keep the right ones..why is it that...people..all on two legs...with five senses..all categorised under the same branch of species...seem to have so much friction among themselves...pathways like religion and culture, which seem much easier to create than to accept...and various influences on different mentalities..

and as much as we try to be different in some way or another, we still have this urge to be accepted...it's like straying away off along a different path that eventually converges back to the main road...or rather, one that you hope converges...and you'd be ready to give in things just to make sure it does..we cannot live comfortably because there is too much normalcy among large populations and we cannot accept a stagnant lifestyle...yet when we try to be different and bring light upon a new path, we tend to want to fall back, either to bring others with us along that path...or because we feel alone and we desire security, so we shift back to where the majority lies..

it is as though we are constantly in search of being accepted....our actions and words emit impressions of us to those around us, which are unfortunately perceived very much differently by different people..and we continue to struggle to achieve to reach those in whose mind we feel we have lacked...it's like a lifelong journey and battle...to reach the level of complete acceptance among those we communicate with...but over time, people have learnt to concede...not to try to please everyone...to understand that some people just wont get you for who you are...and what you do...introducing colder emotions...segregation and generalisation...stereotyping...and dislike of anything different....

i dont know..people are just interestingly and sadly weird....it's all about the purpose in life...there isnt any... they're all just made up....

Done With Half A Semester

2009-09-04T20:36:00.002+08:00

yes..today marks the last day of the term...not the semester, but the term..and i now embark on a one week break...which is commonly perceived differently by the different groups of people in the campus...for those who have already had their mid semester papers, or for those who dont even have any to sit for, this will be a relaxing break for them..to wind down and break away from the routine of daily school life..but for those who happen to have mid semester papers which conveniently do not fall on days before the break, will see the next week as time to catch up and prepare..and with totally no excuse not to perform in the tests..well..i fall in the second category, unfortunately...but i only have to endure working towards one mid semester paper...despite having other mini tests the following week..i thought i'd just push everything one side until the main one is over...

of course having a whole week to study for one multiple choice test, if utilised well, can be overwhelmingly beneficial...but knowing someone like me..that situation would most probably not come by..so i would spend a considerable amount of time fully on preparations..but there might be activites and such distractions in between, here and there, we'll see how..

didnt do much today..as usual..ended before noon...was sort of giving in to the thought of leaving the campus..till i met jessica and lavenia at the cafe..so hung around with them a bit...audrey came by and went off...karl came by and went off....and soon we went off as well..down to St Catherine's College... to waste time there as well in jessica's suite...was quite an afternoon...sort of with the two people i least thought i would spend time with...but it was a nice day...so it was good in a way that i didnt go home early...

and now we shall look forward to the first school holiday i'm like ever having here...

maybe my first aim should be to sleep longer...

Sorority

2009-09-01T21:11:00.002+08:00

of course many people know that universities were catered to have enormous intakes, where people from not just the country but all over enter to get their education and live a better life after that...but universities are just buildings comprising lecture halls, workshops and laboratories...with a few canteens and recreation blocks...

but universities dont come in many branches..unlike shops...and some people just cant afford to travel..so there are colleges nearby which house dormitories for students to stay in and to promote interaction, especially among the international students who may find difficulty in adjusting and all that...

but no..i do not stay in one...because i have people here who have a house...and there was never a need for anyone to fork out extra money for me to stay separately when i can have an easier life here...but still..there are some things you can only get from doing so...

today i entered St Catherine's College with Jessica...and interestingly..it was rather homely...yeah so the rooms were like a little small..but then again..for one person how much space do you need...and i dont need a big space anyway...and i dont demand maximum comfort...in fact having a place to rest and work...given all your meals and necessities...there isnt anything to complain...and because the school is located within the city...it makes even trips down so much easier...late night shopping...which like ends at like 9pm here...or occasional pub visits...and not even having to worry about parking..

but then again it's not like i am not getting all this now anyway...

Nine Pillars - The Ninth "Pain"

2009-08-24T18:32:00.002+08:00

just as among all possible negative aspects of life, there lies a glimmer of hope...around all the positive aspects, there lies one counter-emotion....like saying you can pick yourself up from a fall, but once picked up, you have the possibility of falling again, which almost always happens..

it is one with which we are condemned to accept...at times it is there to warn us and to save us...yet at times, it becomes a burden..it causes us discomfort...affects our moods...it can leave us distancing ourselves from everything except the thought and constant desire for it to disappear..

but that is dependant on the context applied...

for in lesser amounts, it can be embraced....it can be enjoyed...it sets you into new perspectives...it awakens your inner soul..it breathes new life into you...it can be turned into pleasure...it can be subtlely appealing...it's intangible qualities can be deeply appreciated...it lies within you waiting to be allowed out.....and at times...it may be your only companion...one to accompany you through your downs in life...as low as they may go....right till your very last breath...

i know it hurts...but that's the beauty of it...

"What does not kill you only makes you stronger. The closer you are to death, the stronger you have become"

What's Your Purpose?...

2009-08-18T17:33:00.002+08:00

and it makes you wonder...what is the purpose of just being here...

the human life.....an average of 70 years, with expectancy till 100..years of adventure, turmoil, discovery, emotion and pain..but what exactly do we live for...

the whole process is just ongoing...people are born, they are looked after..then they grow up..they work, they reproduce, and then they get old...they retire, they fall sick and then they die..and then the next generation dies...and the next one..

which brings us to the main point..we are all dying...soon..if not now, later...it'll all be gone..what we've worked for, what we've held on to, what we've wanted to achieve...they all disappear in that instant..and then all is lost..yet before that happens...we strive so hard...we toil...we put ourselves through pressure and pain...we endure all levels of stress and go extra distances...but why?...

if you spend one morning just sitting back and watching the world go by...you'll just see...people rushing to work...taking the same route they've been using for years...driving the same roads and making the same turns everyday...kids going to school...so that teachers have jobs...and that is to teach them so that when they grow up, they will continue the trend of rushing to work again..the constant effort in industrialisation and globalisation...the focus on government and their approaches...whatever happens...the sun still rises and sets, rain still falls, and we get older...

what are we hoping to achieve in life? whatever we do achieve, we lose in the end. the amount of effort spent to be rewarded for that few later years, is it worth it?... religion is another thing...true...it gives a sense of belonging to something..but across most religions...they seem to agree that they are able to provide a purpose in life...and that is along the lines of attaining enlightment and seeking a supreme power...mixed with faith and belief...i mean, i've been a hindu for 22 years now, i cant say that it's wrong...but then again..i cant say that it is right either...we dont have anything tangible to achieve and sustain just by living...

we are just living in life because that is the way we are supposed to be living....studying, working and having families...if you really think about it...is there really a purpose for human life?... why are we here on this planet?... we base our whole lives on a celestial body in the middle of emptiness, surrounded by the unknown, spinning around an axis and an orbit, with totally no direction..and no ending...and we want to do so much...we try to bring ourselves to such great heights over our life span...only to fall down at the end of it all...

why do humans even exist?...

The Chemical Shock

2009-08-13T21:52:00.002+08:00

to go into a laboratory session and face questions you find hard to answer because they require some sort of application and thinking process is normal..but to go into one and get thrown with such unfamiliar questions which leave you stranded, just doesnt make sense...practicals are supposed to be further developments of lectures...to put all that words and slides into colour and smells...to appreciate the subject more..and to increase understanding..but to walk out feeling more unsure of yourself than when you first walked in....simply signifies a bad laboratory session..

and that's what happened to my first inorganic chemistry practical earlier this afternoon..the practical was a simple one..just finding freezing points of two solutions...but the questions which followed just led to a mess up...until now i still dont get the right words to describe it...but it sure left the class in havoc...some people just didnt get it..but they blindly copied from others...some people tried to rack their brains to get it...but couldnt seem to hit spot on anything..some actually went to ask the lab helpers around to assist them and explain whatever necessary...and they came back just as confused...and almost everyone handed in an imcomplete manual...all because it took so much time to try to work things out..on top of the actual doing of the experiment itself...that three hours just seemed to pass...and perth being the city that it is...seems to have it encoded in them that 5pm means end-of-day-and-go-back-home-drink-beer-and-watch-tv time...so we were actually rushed to leave the labs as well...

still reliving the experience of it...and it seems others havent gotten over it either....

What's Your Star Sign?

2009-08-08T14:45:00.002+08:00

while the option of believing is entirely up to the individual, it is not wrong to say that the star signs themselves have somehow affected everyone sometime in their life, whether for better or worse, of which that is irrelevant, but more like in the knowledge of its existence and possible influences on makind...

it is remarkable that people way back then, hundreds of years ago, had already bothered not only about marking pictures in the sky, but also, selecting a special few to be the cause of our behaviour and actions, whether to help predict good timings for marriage and birth or simply to use as an excuse for our misdoings. and yet, the study of it is one of that which has lasted since then, and which seems to show no sign of becoming obsolete as of yet...

but then again, does a certain star sign actually have an effect on us humans? it is hard to say...this belief meaning that the way we are isnt due to our own intentions and path of choice but more like because we are made to be like that and we are already programmed to perform certain actions in certain ways. it is, loosely put, a subset of destiny, one that cannot be changed...one that will remain within us throughout our entire life, because that was the way we were born..and that is the way we are governed...

yet, when we take a little time off to actually read through various descriptions many so-called wise people have composed, it is possible to feel that, in a world where reality and fantasy are so clearly defined, there could be some truth in what has been preached. we tend to read and we think that there is some relation to ourselves, though not a perfect match, but some things which signify us and separate us from others, some qualities we feel belong to us, basically, what we like about ourselves...

but then again, to look at it with logic, the star signs have been assigned seats in our zodiac mainly because they were those in which the Sun would pass through in its circle. of course, there is no absolute circle when we are talking about the Sun, for the Sun does not move and that it is the Earth orbital rotation which makes it seem as though the Sun is moving. and then yet again, the stars themselves, in the sky. they are not all lined up against the same plain. we know that stars are of different distances from Earth, and that almost all of them are generally too large in distance for us to notice the differences between one another and that they all seem to be the same distance away. of course, brightness is a possible method to determing stellar brightness, but then again, it cannot be generalised that stars which are brighter are nearer to us than those which are not.

and so these lucky 12 patterns had been chosen for zodiacal representation, and have somehow managed to have an effect on human beings, as compared to the remaining 76 other patterns, which seem to be so widely ignored due to their unfortunate luck in not having the Sun run through them throughout its course. The Earth has to make a full rotation around the Sun, meaning that from our perspective, the Sun would go one whole round the "sky" and then back to its starting point. This would take one Earth year, and because our year conveniently has 12 months in it, it was agreed that each sign would linger for a month. However, back to the part on distances between stars, it is understood that although the stars seem to be near one another from Earth, they could be very far apart in space. as a result, this would imply that some star groups are actually much larger compared to others, which would then mean that the Sun would take a longer time to pass through a particularly large sign, since the so-called speed of the movement would not change. This would raise the issue on how each zodiac sign can be given one month in a year, if the Sun takes different times to pass through each one...

of course, there has always been a question of why the transition of signs take place around the 20th and 21st of each month rather than just changing with the months themselves. for those that dont know, it's because back when the people already knew how to mark dates, they noticed that it was around those dates, that the Earth would reach a position with the Sun known as the vernal equinox, in which the Earth's equator would be in aligned position with the centre of the Sun, and this would mark the first day of Spring. On this day many centuries ago, the Sun was seen to have been in Aries, which was what led to the vernal equinox also being known as the first point in Aries, and from there the other signs started to take their place. However, to complicate and question credibility even further, the Earth experiences what is known as precession. Apart from the Earth rotating on its own axis, there is a motion causing it to swivel together with its axis, meaning that its axis is shifting orientation over time. back when all this was calculated, the Sun was indeed in Aries which was how it all came about. Due to precession however, and the fact that stars dont move in space although we think they do, during vernal equinox, the Sun is actually in Pisces. This whole process takes 26000 years, or on average 2100 years per zodiac segment. It is estimated that somewhere between the years 2100 and 2500, precession would have caused the vernal equinox to lie in Aquarius instead, which would further upset the zodiac system and its apparent effect on human behaviour.

together with other factors, it can make one wonder, whether being born on a certain date does grant him the respective star signs and whether he does adopt its qualities. other factors, such as type of sign, element and house have been brought it, either to complicate the matter, or to simplify it, in the sense as to further define that particular birthdate. however, skeptical thoughts regarding the credibility of the horoscope doesnt seem to cause deterrance of any sort. possibly because there is a truth in every lie, or a reality in every fantasy, but though it can afford to be taken lightly, it is definitely not one to be ignored.

Emotions XXX

2009-08-05T19:00:00.002+08:00

and to slowly lose what was once thought would always be there...just gives life no more meaning...

lifestyles here are so much different..climate is dry...days are slow..activities are restricted...for some reason, they just all have an effect..

to be able to hold a note back then, was something a little practice would have maintained...but now...it's all slowly fading..there's just no more opportunity..no more situation which calls for such a response anymore..no point humming a tune to yourself in the room...or lightly singing the chorus of some random songs while bathing..the practice for the sake of vocal strength, fluency, control and clarity...it just doesnt happen...

the food here isnt helping...but if i dont eat that..then there's nothing else to eat... there's always a certain dryness..and drinking more water just results in more pee...which in the current weather, makes it much more frequent...

the versatility is lost..i'm now just...some party singer...good enough voice..manage a simple song...able to keep melody...but that's all...nothing special...nothing definitive...nothing satisfying enough...

the range...what used to be so well loved personally...has dramatically narrowed...to the extent that it has become audibly obvious...no one cares about vocal practice and sustenance...people believe it's inborn...something you dont lose...until maybe when you are older...how wrong..

i was a vocalist who impacted before...in one way or another...i shall not modestly deny that..i had something to be proud of once...but with that slipping away..i seem to have no higher purpose in life anymore...

Drive For Your License

2009-08-01T13:35:00.002+08:00

so yeah..i've been here for over 2 months already...so i thought i might as well continue to get things settled down so that life becomes easier in the future...and another thing that needed settling was my driver's license..

so it's like...i already have a license but it's only like valid in singapore..however, having almost similar road signs and driving criteria...as well as right-handed driving...i am allowed to drive as per normal while still holding on to my singapore license...except that it's only like valid for 3 months...because that's about as long as my tourist visa is valid for as well...since if i were a tourist i'd only be able to stay 3 months in australia, the validity of the license is also based upon that..

but of course, i cant have that..so i thought i should make the effort, since i was rather free yesterday, to go and get it converted to an australian license, so that i wont be bothered by the traffic police for the next 3 years...so after school, i drove down to willagee, which took quite a while..to ask for a license conversion...i had my passport with me as identification, since that's like the only thing they recognise here...but that didnt seem to be enough...when i enquired about the procedure at the information, i was told that i needed identification, proof of address, atm card, current driver's license and 36 bucks for the license fee...of which i only had three items, that being my passport and my license and my atm card...

so i was like caught up there...and i didnt have a choice...i could have just let it go and come another day...but since i was so available i didnt want to waste the chance...couldnt be bothered to set another day to do all this again..so i drove back home...which also took quite a while...had my lunch...took whatever i needed..and left again...

i had to take the drive to willagee again..and i went up to the counter..saying the same thing i did the first time...considering the lady at the information didnt seem to recognise me...i gave her all the proof of whatever she wanted and she gave me a form to fill up...which i did..took a queue number...and got served shortly...

the lady at the counter did all that she had to do...checking this and that...typing this and that...until everything was printed and she asked what method of payment i would prefer..so i told her cash...and i took out the money, waiting to pay...she tabulated everything and then told me..that i had to pay 36 bucks for the license fee AND another fee for the license validity...36 for one year, 110+ for 5 years...and i was dumbstruck again...

so i was like...wondering if i could pay the license fee first and then pay for the validity another day..and she was like telling me that wasnt an option...she did say i could choose to pay through debit rather than cash...which didnt solve anything as i didnt have money in there either...so i like told her...that i had to go get money and pay her back...she was nice..she said she'll leave it at the information counter under pending status until i got back...

so i had to drive yet again..but i couldnt be bothered to go back home to get money...so i had to drive up to crawley instead..where i told my sis about the issue and said i'll get the money from her...which kind of made things irritating...because well, another thing about perth..is, beautiful as it is, the Swan River...it's so stupidly located, cutting right through the middle of the city....and there's more.... people know that people need to cross over the river to get to and fro quite often..still they cant be bothered to build enough roads....there are like only 3 ways to get across the river into the city area...just 3...for such a long and wide river...so since i couldnt be bothered going back home..i went by stirling highway through north fremantle, cottesloe, claremont and nedlands before reaching my university at crawley...and also crossing the speed limits often in the various areas...

so once i met her and got the money...i had another problem...i had to go back to the licensing centre, but i had to be there with enough time to spare..since it closes at 4.30pm...and the journey there takes quite a while..also i had to hope that the car itself would last me..seeing that all this driving left me with less than a quarter tank of petrol...and i had to hope that upon reaching there, i wouldnt be asked for even more payments...

went back across the freeway this time..which wasnt exactly any shorter, but definitely smoother...and i entered the licensing centre again...and yes, the information lady still didnt recognise me so i had to repeat my situation to her again...the wait was longer this time since there were many people rushing in to get last minute service before the centre closed..but my turn finally came...and my case was solved...a consolation for all that travelling was that i was exempted from any theory or practical test...so i dont have to go through the torture of trying to make time for all that...

and that was how my friday was spent....

First Official Week

2009-07-24T19:20:00.002+08:00

and so, it's the weekend again, and no, unlike the usual practices of most life-deprived people, i am still rooted to my uninterested approach to the weekends, never exactly liked them, possibly never will...but too early to tell..

it was a cold week, and i really mean cold....middle of winter's passed...but it just seems to keep getting colder...when you can still blow smoke out of your mouth at 7.30am, you know it's cold...

there weren't any practical sessions this week, so it was just lecture after lecture and wiling the long breaks away...nothing really exciting either, since people are all like just getting used to one another...and the coursework is coming in heavy...

not that i have actually started doing anything yet...

and i still havent found a job yet...and despite minimising my spending, i am still running short on my savings here...and i cant transfer money from singapore either... stupid job...

all australia is good for is getting money out of you....you just keep paying...

stupid weather...

Halfway Through Winter

2009-07-19T19:37:00.002+08:00

and so tomorrow i officially start my lessons, and how nice it is to have my very first lecture at 8am.....meaning that at 6.30am in the morning i would be out of the house, braving the extreme morning winds, and most probably the rain as well, standing at an unsheltered bus stop in an open space waiting for the bus.....highly likely that i'll freeze way before i reach school...

and i have to do that 4 days a week.... :(

winter'll most probably stretch through straight till the end of august, but that doesnt mean things are getting better now itself...i mean, winter isnt like a minimum value curve (you know, the U-shaped graph) where the temperature around goes down evenly and reaches a lowest point, before steadily rising before the end of winter...instead it just suddenly goes cold...and stays like that...might get a little colder...and then it will stay like that....till as long as it can...and just before spring...it'll slowly decide to pick up...but slowly...so that the first few weeks of spring are like still considered cold, in spring terms.....

life is going to be rough....but what to do...time still goes on and that's the way i have to live it...just take it all in...

stupid climate...

Emotions XXIX

2009-07-16T21:07:00.002+08:00

it's in the silence and the serenity shown, calmness and tolerance....innocence...the quiet seduction, revealing resistance, the trust...the concern and the battles within...

it's in the drawing and the allure, the fair eyes and smile, the acceptance and graciousness...the wary approaches and reactions tested..

it is the way it has evolved....from spaces...decreasing over time, yet seemingly having overlapped, but still hanging, not laid to rest and not laid to move on..

it is a recurring event...having to endure intermittent images somehow related and directly connected to emotions...about living with a desire...one not considered desperate...but as though it was necessary...to please more than just the senses...

time can change things, but till then, time isnt going to solve anything...

From Friday To Monday

2009-07-13T21:00:00.002+08:00

two years ago, 13 July 2007, an important day was marked in history. besides being the day i finally bought a guitar for myself, it was the day i was to make a huge step in my life. it was my last day of being a free guy. the very next morning i was to report to pasir ris interchange and board the ferry, together with my belongings, my parents, and my freedom, to the offshore island of pulau tekong and begin with what would then be known as my term in national service. Friday the 13th. The day i had long dreaded but yet kept slight expectations as to what might happen after that. my last day as a civilian, and i lived it out well.

two years after that, Monday 13th July 2009, i had to make yet another step into my life and another mark made in history. what was long thought of as dreams and visions and maybe even parents' hopes, now became a reality. back then when i had given up my civilian-ship, it would not have seemed possible either. Today, i take a step that will yet again bring change into my life, for now and beyond, as i walked through the gates of the University of Western Australia, not as a passerby, not even as a young hopeful, but as a student, with 3 years of content-based lessons, long walks between classes, continually being assessed, new bonds of friendships and a whole lot of uncertainties ahead of him.

here's to a whole new world......

Just A Week Away

2009-07-06T20:11:00.002+08:00

i know that when school starts i might be dreading the early wake up times and the long journeys to and fro, and the increased exposure to the cold weather which just seems to be getting worse, and the stress and pressure which will come from the rushed tutorials and exams which in all aspects are a necessity to do well in.....but still... i am glad that it's only 7 days away and i cannot await its arrival..

anyway i took a nice drive down to the university today...thought i'd drop by the career centre there to see if there were any advertisements for job vacancies and stuff...but then i was told that they stopped posting them up and now they've decided to do the advertising over the internet, so i drove all the way back home after that..but still it was enjoyable...and it is interesting at how in singapore when we drive we set the car's temperature to 22 degrees and here in perth when we drive, we also set the car to 22 degrees but that they are both for different reasons... ha...

tomorrow i might just go down to the city with my sister...nothing much going on nowadays...*sigh* perth is soooo boring...all the more i cant wait for next week... wonder how my classmates will be like.... maybe there'll be some rocker dudes there as well...

plus...i want to have much more interesting stuff to write here again...ever since i came here, my posts have no essence...just a review of the happenings here...which arent many... i think my blog has lost its aura... time to try to revive that...

Sea Post

2009-06-29T15:53:00.002+08:00

MY KEYBOARD HAS FINALLY COME!!!! IT SURVIVED THE SEA JOURNEY!!!!!!!!

Massive 21 At Agni

2009-06-29T13:26:00.002+08:00

and all that preparation paid off...

the amount of effort put in to plan, organise, prepare and execute a huge celebration for my cousin at Agni Restaurant for her 21st proved to be successful yesterday..the crowd was good..the food was good...the programme went well..even the weather sort of remained calm..to think back at all the long hours trying to get things settled over the previous week seems so far away now...but the effects of last night's atmosphere might just be one to stay on long enough...

so much so...that i dont think there will be another celebration at her house today...since today is her actual birthday...

great stuff....the thing about people in perth is they know how to let loose...party means party...there's no shyness surrounding any activity and age is just a number...even during winter, they'll dig up some reason and opportunity to grasp at just to let their hair down...

in fact, it's only when you stay here for a while do you see the rigidity of singapore...as wonderful as singapore may be, sometimes rules there can be a burden..but i guess we all know that...but then of course, there are those that can get carried away....

i'm just glad that the event went better than expected...and now it's time to step back and get into the routine slow-moving lifestyle again...

and before ending off....here's wishing Jocelyn a happy 22nd birthday!!!! another year to look forward to, but still getting older...take care...and enjoy your day... :)

It's About What Goes In

2009-06-19T22:45:00.002+08:00

i think i am in no wrong at all if i begin to complain about a pastime i recently acquired...well not necessarily acquired but something which i have never placed time and effort on, something which was once a necessity but has now become an indulgence...in fact, the word 'indulgence' isnt metaphorical in this situation...

there can only be one thing easy to do when you are mostly stuck at home and braving the cold temperatures, something to keep you active and alert...and that is...eating...

and it doesnt matter what goes in, as long as something does, the mind is happy...yes, the mind..because the body doesnt need it, and for all we know, the body might not even want it...but it is the mind who controls and makes such things happen...

imagine a normal day...breakfast...highly processed stuff like cream cheese (and those with extra flavourings within the cheese as well) and pure milk and biscuits, usually sweetened with milk, butter or chocolate...lunch usually two times the average serving and large helpings of individual dishes, sometimes chips added for extra salt (something i never took much of before), usually a rice based diet with at least 2 curries, made from masala and coconut..dessert after lunch, tea about 2 hours later and snacks before dinner, all of which are usually around the areas of chocolate and ice cream, dinner consists of something else made from flour, to substitute rice, possibly prata, thosai or some other form of indian flour bread, almost always fried with curries made from pulses and beans and anything left over from lunch, an apple about 2 hours after that and if necessary, a small dinner dessert if i am watching a movie or something like that..

and it makes you wonder why people here are the way they are...and yes..i dont like the cold..so it gives me a reason to rot at home because i dont like to step out of the house for a walk or a jog...anyway i'd most probably drive wherever i go...

it's going to affect me so much in time to come...

Somebody Else

2009-06-14T21:35:00.002+08:00

Sometimes some people just dont grow up. And yet, sometimes they wished that they didnt. For some reason, human beings cannot seem to accept what they really are and how far they've evolved. They dont appreciate the skills and gifts time has given to them, or which religion might say as, heavenly forces. There is always a longing, for something more, yet something which may be considered impossible at this period in time. In this period, I mean, in this evolution. Human beings are constantly evolving, we all know that, but these things happen over years and years, for all we know, our descendants 30 generations later might still be phenotypically similar to what we are today. Still, we hope for something more, and yet, it is this desire to be different in certain ways, that in fact, bring excitement into out lives.

First it all started with power. Ego managed to climb over the heads of some of our ancestors which led them to having the urge to control. They wanted to be recognised and to be heard. They wanted to have power. And it remains to this day, but in more glamourous outlooks like the government and royalty, and even in smaller scale, teachers, lawyers and CEOs. However, ego has found a way to appear within all of us, which makes this hierarchy system more of a necessity than a desire. And then, it still wasnt enough. Somebody was bound to ovethrow the peace of things. Somebody else wanted attention, but was just not getting it. They were what people would label as 'bad guys' because they dont go along with the majority, because they stand up for themselves, or just plainly because, fair enough, they cause harm to others for no apparent reason. So places like rehabilitation centres and prisons were made to contain these 'convicts', as they are so affectionately known, for them to think through their misdoings and hopefully realise their mistakes. This boosted up the police system, making them look like heroes.

But no, that was enough. After all, the police were stll human. There had to be something that could defeat them. And that was where the mind knew no bounds. It started off with print, bring published in many different types of books and magazines, under many names. But these villians rose out from the deepest gates of the human mind and into our world, though not literally existant, but as real as they can get. And it was torture everywhere, massacre and turmoil. The police couldnt handle them. Neither could the special forces. The fact is, they were all human. These villians knew more. They looked like us, but they werent. They had powers. And for that, you need someone else with powers to defeat them. Someone we eventually came to know them as superheroes.

For whatever reason given, from cosmic radiation to mutated DNA molecule, they appeared, coincidentally the same time the villians appeared, to counter them and send them back from where they came from. They began to make their name known among people as the saviours, so much so, they became role models. Yet, they never seemed to remain within the comic books. Parents would use them to threaten their kids, or make their kids idolise them. Parties would come up with themes encouraging people to dress up like them. Games were made where the player would be able to control the superhero, indirectly giving him the impression that he is that particular superhero and have the mentality to save the world. But nothing made a greater impact, than when the books were finally brought to life, in movies.

The fact that movies brought these characters to life, also meant that they are in a way human. It gave them an identity, someone to visualise. Someone to represent that superhero. And that someone would be an actor, or an actress, but still a human. It incited the mentality that anybody could be a superhero. Anybody could have something special in them, but no one would know because after all, they would look human and they would be able to mingle about unidentified and unnoticed within a crowd. It had so much of an influence, that it began to evoke into people, that they themselves might be holding some power within them, waiting to be awakened.

Humans cant fly. As much as we try to, we cant. At least not yet, until we figure out a way to catch the updraft. We are not immortal. Our soul may be, some people believe, but our body is not. We are growing older. Humans cannot drink blood. Well, drinking as in directly biting it off someone's neck. Or, unless the victim was of O minus type, so therefore being a universal donor to all blood types, maybe yeah, but our modern style of living has infused our blood with toxins and viruses, which still doesnt make it any healthier. Mind control, maybe, theoretically possible, but still not enough to save the world. Premonition. Clairvoyance. They dont make superheroes. Yes, there is always a spiritual side to things. some people can be a little more sensitive, some a little more observant, it makes them special, yes. But you are still human.

I've always had an obsession with fire. Once i even lit a candle and stared at the flame for about 45 mins, just purely the flame, ignoring everything else around me. After which i got myself blinded and had to endure black spots all around me for a good period of time. I would burn anything and everything i saw. I, too, had my idols, from the Human Torch of Fantastic Four (yes i know, i wasnt even interested in Jessica Alba), to Pyro from XMen, right down to Kimiko from Shaolin Showdown. All because i thought i could have some control over it. I could manipulate it in the smallest bit possible. Or at least, I could absorb energy from it. Having the feng shui guy in taiwan telling me that 2/3 of my body was controlled by the fire element actually elated me instead of worrying me, which it should have, so i didnt bother buying the figurines he showed me which told me i could lessen the fire by inducing water into my soul by wearing them.

Craving for blood is just a thought. It's not really there. Some people have a craving for blood because there is a defect in their body. It's not producing that enough blood so the patient has to 'drink' the blood in directly at certain intervals to ensure the pressure is right. Yeah, so i have a low pressure, which has conveniently played its part in my blacking out incidents all these years, but that doesnt mean i should take it in. I have attractive eyes and sharp teeth. But that's just the results of my body structure. I dont need to use them. I am reserved and cautious. You think you know me, then you sit back and ponder and realise, hey, actually you dont. Maybe it makes me mysterious, but i am still human. I am in no way different, though we all wish we were.

Like i said earlier, some people just dont grow up. It doesnt necessarily mean a bad thing, but it keeps you in a surreal world, where you think it's normal, but it isnt. There is such thing called reality. And it's not very far away. But then again, as we all know and as many great discoveries have proved, it doesnt hurt to dream...........

Smoking

2009-06-11T20:04:00.002+08:00

so it's been like raining like since last night, but knowing the rain in australia, it's not continuous throughout. it's rains for a while and then stops and then rains again, as in, just rains again, just like that, no warning, no sign, nothing...

because winter has already started, the rains tend to last longer each time it falls, so about 30 mins or so, we will hear the raindrops falling over our heads...they're not big drops, so it's just normal pattering..

so we were having dinner today and no surprise, it suddenlt decided to rain, and without any drizzle to warn those poor souls walking on the roads, it suddenly let loose...and it was loud, in fact way louder than what we normally heard, so much so, we thought the raindrops were quite large and pounding on the roof sheets....anyway we continued with our dinner when the phone rang..upon picking it up, i recognised my uncle's voice, and he was calling to tell me to make my way out of the house...i thought he might be waiting outside to pass something on the way back to his house or what, so i was like wondering why, when he told me, if i go out fast enough, i might be able to see.................................hailstones...

yes i did rush out, but the rain started to subside then, so ya, no hailstones falling from the sky for me, but that does explain the loud sounds on the roof...still i stayed outside feeling expectant and hopeful, but it became lesser instead...so i was like feeling a little disappointed and was talking to my sister about that when i noticed............something clouded up my visions for a few milliseconds during that time...it took me a few seconds to ponder about it and realise that.....it was smoke!!

haha...and yes, that gave me all the more reason to talk more...it was quite fun seeing the smoke come out, but it only happens at night....

A Bowl Of Blood

2009-06-09T22:22:00.002+08:00

for a change, either because we might have returned too late from all that shopping that my grandma didnt have the mood to cook, or that there was just nothing to cook (which wasnt possible cos like i said, we just returned from shopping), or she had no idea what to make out of the ingredients we had at home, whatever the case, i went out of the usual dinner i've been getting here and had just one bowl of soup.

now one bowl is subjective yes. what went into the bowl? just one whole can of Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup (84% Puree) cooked with half the recommended volume of water, resulting is a semi-thick liquid, which was easy to swallow, yet had some substance in it. Of course what affected most, or at least to me, was the sodium intake resulting from consuming the whole can of soup, after reading the print stating 'Servings per can : 3.4', which is yet again subjective, because there is no universal amount to define a serving.

still it's about 930mg or so of sodium per serving, meaning the whole can had to have about 3.2g of it. and tomorrow i have to go for my medical checkup. if it all comes out in the urine, well, they'll have a very salty test result. i wonder if they'll withdraw blood from me tomorrow or if that was next week. that'll upset their readings too maybe. haha. but on the good side, all this excess salt might raise my blood pressure at least till afternoon, so that if they do withdraw blood, i can still walk out of the hospital safely and in good condition.

Emotions XXVIII

2009-06-07T22:43:00.002+08:00

look at me, so that i may catch your eye and glamour at your beauty
allure me, so that i may be fixated onto you, with full concentration
flirt with me, so that i may get attracted to you and allow myself to open up
take a step towards me, so that i tense up and prepare for your next move, anticipating
signal me, so that i continue to close up the distance between us, one step at a time
take a step away from me, to give me a challenge, to see if i take that extra step
smile slightly at me, so that i know i've been accepted and allowed to enter your territory
take a step back towards me, so that i may accept your presence and begin to get closer
keep your body near me, so that i put my hands around you and pull you towards me
embrace me, so that i feel comfortable and secure in your arms
rest your head on me, so that i may comb your long hair behind your shoulders, neck exposed
tighten your hold on me, so that i know you won't let go and that you will trust me
and leave to me, the act of reaching down to your bare neck, caressing it with my wet lips, and in one swift move, sink my teeth into you, and withdraw the liquid form of your life and soul, warm, bitter, and satiating...

Devadasi

2009-06-06T16:22:00.002+08:00

so last night i was down at Fremantle, sitting through a spectacular display of sound and colour in the dance drama performed by an association quite close with my family, and starring both my first degree cousins as well. of course they were accompanied by many others males and females, all dressed to impress, putting on what they had spent weeks practising for an eye-catching 2 hours..

The story followed a lady through her life as a temple dancer, accompanied by a little girl, seeking advice and experience from the lady prior to her journey to becoming one herself. of course, the performance revolved around the prestige and respect that comes with being a temple dancer, rather than the actual life of the girls. but then of course, dances are usually happy. why would people pay to see solemn movements?..

maybe just for those who have never had exposure to this....temple dancers are considered to be one of the highest levels of sacrifice, because it is using art and music to worship the deities. however, only the best can be presented in front of the gods, therefore, females who become temple dancers are usually trained from young. from very young, they are taken into temples and taught the skills of music and rhythm, after which they proceed to intense training in dance and offerings. it is one that demands much from them, as they are to attain the highest form of dance. to set their minds to this path, they are usually fed and kept within the temple walls when growing, and have to take drugs to break their menstrual cycles, so that their sexual desires can be controlled. after a while though, their periods get so messed up, that they become dysfunctional, resulting in them becoming infertile. their social lives are also controlled so that they do not get strayed from their aims. in some cases, they dont even know their parents.

of course, like other girls, there comes a period in time which is commonly said to be the marriageable age, during which normal girls would be looking around for their lifetime partners. However, being in a temple all their lives, they would have become devoted to the art they portray and at the same time, to the deity they dance for. Devotion is what is known as a higher level of affection, and with a formal ceremony, the temple priests would "marry" the girls with the gods. This gives them a rise in status, for they become the deity's consorts on Earth. Hence they are treated with great respect, for they are the closest people can get to God Himself. And whenever there are prayers designated for the deity she has married, she will be there, willingly dancing and providing her offerings to her husband in heaven, so that He may bless her and those around her continuously.

It is these girls that have been so focused in the moves and rhythm of dance, many many years ago, that they are sometimes said to have passed down traditional dance itself. So, the performance yesterday was like a tribute to these girls, for without them, we would not have been able to enjoy the grace and beauty of dancing, infused with culture.

After all, dance is also an art.

The New Vaio

2009-06-04T18:26:00.002+08:00

and this is what they call winter...the rains have come...if you remember, it doesnt snow here, so the rains are what they celebrate...and if you read earlier posts, you might have come to know that showers here dont last..so what does that mean?? it means..the rains just come and go...so it like rains like 5 times a day...each spell lasting like 30 mins...

i said on the 1st of june that it was a weird winter because of the heat..well i guess i spoke too soon..the past few days have just been..well..cold..as in it's not freezing..but it's just like how our G Major / E Minor guitarist friend Edmund had said.. "free aircon"...and yeah, there's like this coldness in the air from morning to night, in spite of the sun or rain...which just makes you feel cold the whole day..unless when the winds come along..then it gets worse...

there are those weird people, who in the face of such weather...just embrace it and start playing about joyfully, absorbing every freezing second they are exposed to...well, they're not weird..just that to me, as someone who would rather sleep in 30 degrees, they just seem weird...i meanm this isnt speaking for all the locals here..there are still an acceptable amount of people who still cant seem to brave the cold despite having been here for years...

STILL......sometimes staying at home can just exhaust you..not physically, but just that you are exhausted of things to do...when there is nothing to do, there really is nothing..and the slow movement of time doesnt help either..so yesterday evening, i went out with my mum and grandma for a walk around the neighbourhood..it was a gamble, considering that it had just rained earlier and chances of it falling again were very high, but we didnt expect to take that long anyway, so we thought we could go for a stroll while the rain went for a break..

it was definitely cold, but the constant movement provided slight warmth for our limbs and that kept us going..after all, the air is much fresher, but i did the suicidal act of popping down a couple of mints before leaving the house, which resulted in the intake of cold air taking its effect on my windpipe...sort of like getting high..

we made one large round around the estate behind our house...the thing about here is that..although it is similar to singapore in that there are estates and neighbourhood, which are called suburbs here, the roads running through them dont have any sort of significance to say that they belong in there..in singapore, most neighbourhoods, maybe with the exception of like bukit panjang, maybe punggol and kembangan as well, dont contain roads within them that take on after the estate name coupled with numbers denoting streets and avenues...like when i was back in singapore living in ang mo kio, you'd know...with the odd number avenues running horizontally and the even ones vertically, you'd be able to define where ang mo kio starts and ends and which part of the estate are you currently standing in...what happens here is that, they dont believe in combining numbers with street names...and they have a different name for each street...so you have to literally know which street is in which suburb...and it's purely by knowledge..you cant have guesswork...AND what's more is that...they dont like to use the name more than once in the same estate...like for example, you wont find ABC Road, ABC Street and ABC Avenue in the same suburb...no....you'll find ABC Road maybe in the city, ABC Street in some western suburb and ABC Avenue down by the port...so you can imagine what a mess up it can get to...

done a little sightseeing and travelling recently...went northwest to Joondalup on one day, then eastwards to Armadale, dropping at the Burswood Casino on the way...just letting time pass as it comes... tomorrow we'd be going down to Fremantle again..but in the evening...to watch a dance performance from my cousins...so i should be back a little late...

anyway..if you were wondering what the title had to do with this post...it's just because i reformatted my laptop yesterday..so it's like as good as new.. :)

The First Day Of Winter

2009-06-01T20:31:00.002+08:00

it's never snows in Western Australia, but hey, at least it rained..and considering that rains here last only about ten minutes, the fact that this one fell over thirty or so minutes after having fallen earlier for about fifteen minutes does call for some celebration...the australians love the rain, irregardless of which period of the year...maybe it's just due to the dryness of the atmosphere here..i mean...it's is mainly just desert..

people have been commenting on winter this year...for some reason, it has been rather hot, especially since they went about a week without rain, and at this period of the year as well...earlier this afternoon i was fixing up some chairs for the kitchen in the backyard area...and would you believe it..i actually almost sweat...or rather..i did perspire while working..haha..first sweat in perth.. and during winter... of course...not perspiring in the same way like i did in singapore..as in..you dont exactly rain down your skin, but to actually feel hot and sticky is what they call perspire here...

well...i didnt go out today...so that just left me at home dumping what i can find into my stomach...i will eventually kill myself like this...before dinner i went back to old habits...took a bowl of ice cream...added mint chocs, white chocs and choc chips to it and enjoyed it, before having a starch-based indian dinner......indian food will kill me as well... :(

Foundation Day...And Vanilla Milk Tea

2009-06-01T10:03:00.002+08:00

today i am experiencing my first public holiday in perth...although it really isnt much difference from any normal weekend..it's Foundation Day today..and it is a day which only Western Australia celebrates..because of some historical based story concerning men from the British Navy and the sightings of Western Australia back in the 19th century..

was out yesterday though...after my mum dragged me to accompany her for prayer in the morning, i went out with my sis and her down to Fremantle...just for sightseeing and to experience the train ride..since we usually go there by bus..which gives everyone a butt ache...

it was quite active for a sunday afternoon though..although it was still considered to be partly dead, given the usual activities that happen around Fremantle on weekends..but maybe we went too early..but what was well worth it was..as we were walking back to the train station towards evening...we passed by a small shop, which wasnt exactly noticeable..unless we went nearer and saw................it was .......... a .......

bubble tea shop!

haha...yes..well it cost A$3.50 for one cup...but i had to get one..and i did...vanilla milk tea...well..they dont have ice blend or red tea here..so ya..but it's at least something..and it's kind of interesting..because instead of calling it pearls, they call it tapioca...and ya..although it is tapioca..there's just something weird in saying it that way..

well..for the judgement..the pearls are large in quantity but they arent as sticky and smooth as those in singapore..and it is definitely not as sweet as the one there..but it is still a cooling and satiating drink...and a good enough consolation for the actual thing...

i will definitely get more....

Things Just Take Up The Whole Day

2009-05-29T18:32:00.002+08:00

so today my mum and i had originally planned to go to the eastern part of Perth, but not East Perth, and drop by the casino and gambling area on the way...but since my Certificate of Enrolment had already been mailed to me, she requested i start on my visa application instead..

so we went down to the city just before noon, only to find that the office had moved location..still in the city, but further down...and so we walked..and this was by far, one of the hottest days here in perth...imagine we were on the verge of perspiring, but the lack of humidity in the air kept our skin dry...the afternoon was about 23 degrees...i know that usually should mean quite cool..but here, where there are cloudless skies...the sun hits you like...hard...so it was burning...but i was absorbing whatever i could...we finally reached the location though...and after seeing the teller, she recommended that we apply online instead, since the reply would come much faster...and so after a little more information from her, we left the place..

so i came back home and settled that...still a few things left lying..but should be finished over the next few days...my health checkups have also been booked for the next week...so i've just got to let things go by as they come..

tonight the temperature should go down to only 9 degrees...that's not as bad as the past few days..dont know why the days seem to be getting slightly warmer..although winter is just around the corner...ha..

i think i really am extremely narcissistic....even looking at myself naked in the mirror makes me high...

Start Living

2009-05-28T21:29:00.002+08:00

and now that things have started to settle..i think i have found my weakness for chocs again...intake in definitely increasing..and the actions and eating habits of the locals here isnt helping much either...let's all dig in...relish the different forms of cocoa, milk and sugar...

been going out everyday...mainly because there is really nothing for me to do at home..and trust me, staying at home is a major bore...and also because my mum is here..so enjoy her company while she's here..anyway she'll pay for everything...so why complain.. :) and since i have to let my sis study for the next couple of weeks...it's a perfect reason not to remain at home...

the weather has been getting slightly better the past few days..though the nights are still cold..the daysare much sunnier now, and in australia's cloudless skies, you can definitely feel the presence of the sun...yet the temperature is low enough to prevent you from perspiring..so you can enjoy the heat, without actually getting wet...

i've learnt to bathe earlier as well..since it gets dark by 6pm here..the cold air comes around at that time too..so when i used to bathe at 6pm or so..it took much effort to close the tap..or to bring my bath to an end..because once you do...since you're bathing in hot water...the cold air hits you instantly...

still ... i havent got used to the dinner timings yet...my eyes usually help me in that area where usually once you see the sun set, you know it's about time for dinner and you mentally get prepared and stuff...but here, although it feels like evening, it's barely 5pm...and to think about dinner at that time..just doesnt seem to fit..

these kind of things just happen over time i guess...ha..and maybe just when i think i've learned the ways of it..it's time for summer..and the sun only sets at 8pm.. HA!

Had To Be Revealed Sometime

2009-05-26T21:08:00.003+08:00

so today i went out with my grandmother and sister to do some morning shopping...just the usual groceries and stuff...so my mum was at home just doing her stuff...and when i came back she told me that during the period i was out, she had fully unpacked all my stuff and arranged them neatly in my room..

so i went to see how she had arranged them...and i was like...she did a great job..the room was much neater now..and i went to open the cupboard..and i saw that even the bags were arranged and all the stuff inside them had been taken out and placed on the shelves...and then it struck me..one of the bags that i brought my make up in was also removed and placed outside...so i was like suddenly wondering if she had emptied that as well..and then she would have seen it..and what would she have done with them..

the thing is..she seemed to read my thoughts..and without fail..upon noticing my wondering expression...she told me.. "dont worry, your make up is still inside"... HA..imagine that...at that moment i didnt know how to react, but then i was like...i had to act normal and pretend that it was a small matter...but yeah...that was a weird moment...anyway...i knew that at one time it would have to be made known...

anyway....today was a weird day...there wasnt rain...there wasnt much wind either..there were no road works and no falling trees...but for some reason...there were 3 blackouts today....two in the afternoon and one in the evening...the first one didnt last long..just a few minutes before coming back to life...the second one, however, lasted for about half an hour before power was restored...and the third one...happened at about 6pm and only came back on just before 8pm...we couldnt do anything for that period of time...just lit some candles and sat around a table waiting for things to happen..and you know here in perth it gets dark by 6pm..so it wasnt really something comforting...AND...the break in current meant that the heater couldnt be switched on...so that led to another problem leaving us in the cold..and it gets colder towards night....perfect timing...we had to have cold dinner some more...because the cooking appliances couldnt be used...

and then while we were eating....the power came back on..... :s

University Of Western Australia

2009-05-25T20:33:00.002+08:00

being a monday...things were actually open around here...so while my sis went for some project presentation she stayed up till 2am to prepare for, my mum and i went down to her school, which will eventually become mine soon, to settle some enrolment stuff...wasnt anything much..just some paying of fees and queries that needed resolving..but the journey there was a good hour plus...having to change from bus to train and then bus again..what to do..the transport system is such...at least they bothered to make sure that frequencies were much faster for weekdays...

after that was done...we went down to the city area for lunch at Hungry Jacks (which is Australia's version of Burger King) with me having my Whopper, which was interestingly actually smaller in size compared to those in Singapore...and then just walked around..since my mum said it was such a beautiful day....well...it WAS a beautiful day...or rather it WOULD have been a beautiful day...i mean..everything was okay...the sun and the atmosphere...it's just that the wind had to come spoil it...ok well...my mum didnt think it was a spoiler anyway...

left there at about 3.30 or so...came back home...and by 5.30pm, as usual...it had become dark..

the days will just pass by like that...there is only a certain amount of things you can achieve in a day...so let's just tak it slow... :)

Back In Perth...And For A While

2009-05-24T12:25:00.002+08:00

and yes, i've finally landed..of course i didnt land today..i only managed to come online today..landed at the airport at about 2pm...and had to go through their slow check out procedures, not because the airport was crowded or demarkated due to whatever H1N1 attacks..but just because of perth being perth...people here are just like that..time here is so slow anyway..they have nothing to rush for..

plane flight was okay...airport was okay...and thanks to sherline, karis, shirley, denny, samuel, denny's friend, bessie and MSG Tan for seeing me off at the arirport...i know it was a little early...but you guys still came..

things wont be so heavy as of now..my term is only starting in july..and having landed during the weekend, there is nothing much that can be done anyway..since everywhere is closed...

and basically this might just be how things be...since almost NOTHING happens arounds here...i guess i wont have many things to blog about until school starts...and even then..hope i wont be too busy such that i dont have time to update either..

enjoy!

22 And Gone

2009-05-22T23:31:00.002+08:00

didnt really get much time yesterday, but i am here today.and this marks my last post in singapore...

so like everyone knows, i turned 22 yesterday..and i've spent more than just the whole week celebrating...many thanks to :

12 May : Jocelyn
13 May : Denny, Samuel, Fook Siong, Yong Hui, Rui Yuan
17 May : Benedict, Zhiwei, Kent, Winston, Renee
18 May : Annabelle, Swee Ching, Sherline
20 May : Tiffany, Hui Jia, Justine, Jessica, Hui Yi, Fun, Wanting, Swee Ching
21 May : Sherline

...for taking time out of whatever you had planned to do and spend it with me...

and thanks for all the presents...the cards from huijia and jessica...the handwarmer from jessica...and thanks a million times a million to sherline...for the iPod Touch and t-shirt..i had a great day with you on thursday...i just dont know how else to say it out...

and so...tomorrow is flying off day...out into a new culture...okay lah..not new...but just one that i've seen too many times but never lived in...it's new atmospheres and new people...and old people... considering my sister, cousins, grandparents and relatives are there..i dont know what's going to happen..but i'll have to get through somehow...it's not the end of the world here either...it's just a new chapter in a story..

all the best to those here...enjoy the future of Singapore...

once i get my internet back on again...i'll get back to all of you...nothing much would have changed...just the distance...literally...

Emotions XXVII - Promise

2009-05-21T02:33:00.003+08:00

To Jocelyn Tan

i dont know how much it means to you
but if it makes a difference
i just want you to know

you may have a lot of people standing by you, and that's perfectly fine
in fact that should be the case, given someone of your personality and attitude, anyone would love to know you
you're a bright star to those around you, always shining but ensuring that others shine with you as well

as we grow older, times definitely will get tough
i guess, unfortunately for me, i dont have the opportunity to experience what you are going through, maybe it will help me understand your position better
but i know you are busy and focused on many things and that can be quite stressful
you might like it, and you might not
but i am sure, it is definitely not easy

still, for what it's worth, i just hope you know, i personally believe in you
if it ever happens, that for some reason suddenly you find there isnt anyone there for you, look back here, and i will be, however i am very sure you wont face such a thing in the first place
i may not be physically around anymore, with the upcoming events, but joce, i've grown all these years, and you were there with me, from primary school, although we find it hard to remember, to the days we entered poly, from freshies to main comm, from those days we stayed late into the night at KAP after everyone had gone, to the days where we sat at the corner of one corridor and you would whack me because i had cut myself the previous day

i still have all these experiences and i am not taking them for granted
i promise you, the day that i dont stand behind you and give you the moral support that you need, will be the day i am physically not around in this world, which i hope will come much later than yours, so that i know i would have been by you all the way, till your final breath

take care

Baby And Dearie

2009-05-21T01:36:00.002+08:00

and what a day to mark my 400th post...

well..i sort of reached home like about 90 minutes back actually...but have been settling things here and there and am only updating now...just came back from a rather hectic day...it's quite tiring actually...having to be at different places everyday, but..i am not complaining...it's all i can ask for now anyway..

so this afternoon i went down to bishan...to meet up with huijia and tiffany for lunch..or so called lunch..since both the girls had already eaten before coming down..nevertheless tiffany still ordered a dish from where we ate...we lunched at Manhattan's Fish Market...one place i actually havent eaten yet and havent had the opportunity to try either...so i ordered a cherry snapper with fries and she had some caesar salad dish with whitebait...we ordered a mudpie for dessert as well...which justified huijia's claim as satiating...

we sat there in the restaurant for quite some time...just chatting about random stuff...so nice to have both of them there at the same time...but i couldnt make full use of the situation there...i had to go down to meet justine after that...which was another chance i had to take up...and so, leaving the two girls to linger around junction 8, i went down to the mrt to catch justine...

we took the train back to choa chu kang...mainly because that was where she stayed..but before that, we dropped by Popular for her to get a CD..and after walking round and round lot 1...which until now i dont know why....(although she said we should walk on the tiles because the tiles in the shopping centre are new).. we ended up in McDonald's for a drink...

after that...i went out to the taxi stand...while she went to the bus stop..and cabbed down to Ngee Ann...to catch Jessica and Huiyi before they left for the evening appointments...wasnt very long...but at least i managed to see them...and most probably it would be the last for a long time as well...once they left i decided to drop by SCC, for my last activity...haha..caught up with a few people...Fun and Wanting were also there...so it was a chance to see them...saw some freshies...in fact..so a lot...but none of them new me..but it was fine..i didnt try to initiate anything this time...just watched how things went and reminisce what it used to be like when i was there...i didnt stay for the traditional dinner at King Albert Park...cos i remembered that i had to pass something to tiffany and huijia earlier in the afternoon but i didnt do it..so i agreed to meet tiffany back at choa chu kang...

i was supposed to meet swee ching for dinner though...but due to certain circumstances, it wasnt possible..again...so that gave me a little breathing time...and i was like wiling the time away, wondering what i should get for dinner, when she called me from home...well..at least it was something..so she accompanied me on the phone throughout my dinner...which was incidentally McDonald's again...at CCK Community Centre...while i waited for tiffany to come back from her driving lesson...

tiffany volunteered to stay with me while i eat my dinner..but i asked her to go back instead..hope she took it lightly :) it had nothing to do with you...

cabbed back home again......all this cabbing...it's just sucking me up slowly...i've spent soooo much this whole week so far...i'm beginning to freak out...

anyway...this is my early greeting for those i know...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO :

Ming Sui
Annie
Huiyi Angel
Maxwell
Chin Thong
Tang
Grandfather

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha...everybody grows one year older at some point in time...

Full And Worn Out

2009-05-19T02:31:00.002+08:00

well..this is the week to watch...the week before everything changes...and just the first day...but it's been tiring...

so i first went down to suntec city to meet annabelle for lunch..yep i know..annabelle...out of nowhere..haha..no lah..i mean..we still have contact..but just that, we would never have expected to have a meet up or something like that...anyway..we had lunch at this japanese restaurant...and a good enough talk...she's changed a lot...and it still hasnt set in that this girl is actually the same girl i used to know back then during poly...but now, as a working woman...

oh..and she said i lost weight..... :s haha...that shows how long she hasnt seen me...

she had to rush back at about 3pm so i slowly made my way down to SGH to catch up with swee ching, whom i was supposed to have dinner with..haha...travelling around so much in just one day..she got caught up at work for a while...dealing with some patients with....cant remember what...think anemia, or leukemia, or something of the sort...anyway, we made our way down to plaza singapura, where we walked a bit, since it was rather a little early for dinner...we went up and then came back down again...but then what happened was...she had to go off urgently...i was fine..perfectly understood the situation, as me being me, doesnt see the need to hold people back if urgent matters arise..so she went off...

and then sherline called me...and then i told her what had just happened and then she requested to see me instead...so i was like considering it for a while...and then accepted...so i ended up at lot 1 instead...and we ate her favourite Dian Xiao Er...which, i still believe, is actually a nice restaurant, even though i continually turn her down everytime she asks me to eat there...and then we just idled some time to digest it off...before i took a cab back, dropping her on the way at yew tee...

still more to come, with an unconfirmed plan for tomorrow...but hopefully things can go smoothly...it's not as though there are many days left to play with...

Crash And Burn

2009-05-18T01:39:00.002+08:00

and so...with that...jamming sessions are over...

so i went down to woodlands this afternoon to set up my guitar with benedict and zhiwei...and yes he was kind of good actually...told me what was wrong and the proper ways of doing certain stuff...i spent quite a bit in that shop...including other purchases..but then...i thought it was okay..given the substance that came out of it...we made our way down to the nearby coffee shop and had drinks..just to pass time...and zhiwei had a meal...some char siew rice thing which he had asked for less rice...but the plate still came full...

benedict left off after that for some dinner he didnt want to share while zhiwei and me made our way back to ngee ann poly to await and grace the arrival of kent..who was supposed to be there at 6pm..and winston...who was also supposed to be there at 6pm...but what happened was kent...was trying to be difficult and not reply my sms as to his whereabouts...and winston...for some reason, ended up at tiong bahru...when actually he was at bugis but i only sms-ed him when he was at tiong bahru..but the way he replied was like as though he was physically at tiong bahru instead of just passing through...

and what happened was winston....actually arrived before kent...now kent stays at clementi..so the only excuse for arriving later than winston, apart from conveniently blaming the bus, which wasnt the case this time..was that he could have misjudged the journey.....which also seems less likely cos he travels to school everyday anyway...so..it was just that he CHOSE to come late...because he WANTED to...

anyway...our jamming went well...as usual, there was no idea or plan on what songs to play...but somehow some things just come up...so whatever works..throughout the session, we were graced by renee...who actually might have potential at bass...in both playing and style......and cheryl, xueting and priscilla...who i later found out dropped by to see if they could do homework in the clubhouse but left almost immediately upon realising that we were using it and didnt intend to stop any time soon...

we left there like about 9 plus and went down to al-ameen for dinner...and one heavy meal that was...or rather that was just for me...considering i ordered 3 plates of food...but hey...it's not everyday that you eat this stuff...and it was heavy and filling,,,but occasionally, there is joy in stuffing in more than you can take..and feel full after that..

took the bus back from ngee ann poly....reached home..bathed...and should be sleeping soon...i've got to go out tomorrow again...this is my last week...and this not just any week...

if there's anything still left to enjoy...it is enjoying the remainder of my 21....

Touch Your Soul

2009-05-17T00:13:00.002+08:00

i dont know why i always take interest in things that dont seem to interest others...so much so even getting your hands on them can be so difficult..and one area i've experienced such difficulties more than once..would be in the buying of a phone...still remember all the hassle i went through when i was going after my Siemens SL75 back in 2006, with many shops not having stock, resulting in me travelling across neighbourhoods to finally land on one, which was fortunately cheaper than what i was expecting....but still...to get that... *sigh*

and now...it's as if it all happened again...although this time i took it one step ahead..by calling the retailers first to see if they had stock in the first place before i actually went down there..and the number of calls i made..i'm surprised within the span of less than a year, a phone can actually become obsolete, not because it was defective or hopeless..but just because newer models suddenly appeared out of nowhere and the makers decided to focus on them instead...

after much calling, i managed to get one shop which did have stock, or so they said, until they re-checked their inventory and realised that they didnt have either...but they called me back saying that they could actually order it...me being who i am, i went down to their shop at yishun, talked to the salesgirl a bit, and finally reached an agreement that she would check with her bosses whether the phone could still be ordered and if so, to order it and let me know when it arrives...i was given a span of 5 waiting days....

so what happened was, this morning i received a call from her saying that not only was she allowed to order the phone in, but it had already reached the shop and that i could go down and collect it...which obviously got me high and stunned at the same time...but i went down in the evening and she was right...there it was, newly wrapped and untouched, sealed with perfection...the fruit of all my labour...the Samsung U900 Soul...

yeah i know i'm despo...but i did that with my previous one as well..and i never regretted it...i still look at my Siemens with such affection, for all it has served me, with style...something i hope to achieve with the Soul as well....although it was definitely cheaper than my Siemens...

still.....if you really want something you can get it...but then it depends on the people that you come across as well...some salespeople just couldnt be bothered...

When The Dutch Say Believe

2009-05-15T23:16:00.002+08:00

and so...i've been somewhat intrigued by one song...everytime i listen to it..it starts of mellow, slow, sweet and soothing..and then picks up through the verses..like a normal rock song should...and then it suddenly changes..and then it sounds like some powerful rock song from the 70s...like what one of those powerhouse female vocalists would perform...and then it reverts back to its diminished aura...but the strength in her voice...and the music...the power of the guitars...it's not like deathly or crazy playing or what....it's real music...you know that even the band members themselves are so absorbed in their music...that they cant even end the song...

words are meaningless..

if you believe me...go listen...but it's heavy and like i say, the best way to listen...just blast it out!!

The song is Believe..from Nemesea...

almost literally spent the whole day today on the laptop..but also had to clear up my room and arrange my stuff..i guess tomorrow i should start packing...next week might be a packed week for me..having to meet different people..but i'm happy..and also..it's a crucial week for me...apart from turning 22, i've got to settle some things here before i go off...

aiyah...so much so...i forgot what else there is to blog...

blah..

Congrats You Survived The Army

2009-05-14T00:42:00.002+08:00

and that was what my mum messaged me in reply to what i sent her once i left the camp earlier on the 13th of may.

and so...a long journey has ended...but the aftermath of it hasnt exactly kicked it...it's not possible to change attitudes and behaviour towards certain things overnight...but i've got to start telling myself that it is over for me and then i am back into the open again...

back when i enlisted on 14 July 2007, looking at today seemed so distant...and to think about what i might undergo throughout the whole term seemed drastic as well...actually living through it was another experience by itself...and at times it even makes you wonder how you did it..

sometimes you cant get what you wanted...but sometimes you can...i tried for the Music And Drama Company back when i was in BMT...but given my fitness status, it was knowingly difficult and i resorted to telling myself i should accept the combat vocation which led me to set new aims, one such one being to live through service as a specialist..

ya fine...so maybe i'm a little anti-officer...but really...you need officers too..and they are very important people..but the specialists' life seemed to draw me much more...and i did manage that...stupid, dumb and enriching as it was...to think back on what all stuff i've been thrown into, it is rather a marvellous feat well achieved..

but time doesnt stop...and that;s both good and bad...but now, back into the open world...it's time to carry on with what has to be done..you still have got to live...you cant forever sit within the joy of ORD..so yeah...it's confirmed..i will be flying off on the 23rd of May...though i dont know what time the flight is...but it's perth for me now...at least for the next 3 years...well..a life change...but it has to be done...

if anybody needs to know..they will soon be able to find me in the University Of Western Australia studying BSc (Biomedical Sciences)...and well..we can still keep in touch...just that...there'll be no touching involved...

oh...and just being random.....jocelyn rocks!!!!

ORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emotions XXVI

2009-05-09T00:37:00.002+08:00

and you know that some things just had to be done

it does not mean anything has changed over time prior to it. but it only means that choices have become much clearer and options much less available. the path laid was not the best one to take, but it was what might prove as the most suitable one. it was not the solution to an internal issue or anything that had cropped up from whatever never worked. it could have been prevented but circumstances never made it possible. it was more of an understanding rather than a misunderstanding. the shining diamond upon the silver flower that sparkled so frequently and prominently on fair skin does seem rather misplaced within the walls of my room but it was an action foreseen but unavoidable and what seemed fit at that point in time. with it came memories, experiences and feelings given and lost, which will remain stagnant, covering only a fraction of what it was supposed to, but which would carry value in years to come, having made a mark and a difference and though hurtful at present, it will create a new meaning to things around and actions made and will most certainly be kept, close at heart.

a promise has been made, and it will be kept.

it will not be thrown away

Nine Pillars - The Eighth "Fire"

2009-05-07T00:38:00.002+08:00

and it burns, with such passion, glamour and elegance, from shades of red to the hottest blue, without routine...dependant on the wind, in fear of water, with the power to brighten and to warm..it is what made people see...what conquered fear, and yet, brought caution..it has lived its label as an element, being a necessity to all living beings, even to those afraid of it..it is constant, as long as it has its fuel, it will shine on..it provides comfort, it is soothing, but as with all things, it is only pleasant in moderation..

it damages, it kills, it leaves little survivors...those that do gain scars, burns and marks..it hurts, right down to the flesh..it dominates, it rages and it is uncontrollable..it is full of anger and fury, aiming to kill, to sustain itself, to grow...and return no mercy

it is the pillars of hell, it is the passion that grows, it is the star in the sky, it is the burning inside, it is the signal of distress, it is the determination to push..

it is easy to start, and needs to be maintained..a slight deviation could bring about great results...it is a symbol of trust and affection, of love and hate, of strength and fear, of rage and control..

it is a metaphor of life...

"Control over greed is like life over death"

Jocelyn's Memories

2009-05-03T15:16:00.002+08:00

JOCELYN TAN HAS A BLOG!!!! AND I NEVER KNEW!!!!

and my blog was even linked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.............................................

The Last Full Week Of Service

2009-05-03T14:29:00.002+08:00

i know some people must be tired and bored of hearing me say this...but really...one would never have dreamed that this event would actually come...although deep inside you know it would because time has to go on, whether good or bad things happen...and yes, this is the last week...i mean..technically, i still have to book in after this week as well...but that's just for half a week only...so that makes this week the last full one..

a rather slow moving sunday...i just finished...no surprise...a whole bowl of ice cream...some Haagen Dazs and Nestle concoction...just lazing around a bit...looking at a few sites...letting the time pass..this week will be somewhat of a busy week, despite being near the end of my service...or rather...it could be because it is near the end....as i've got to start clearing up my stuff and bring them all back home...some time this week...if possible..

for those who are already in...well...it's not far off for you...at least...you are already inside so you've served for some period of time...better than those who havent...haha..but for those who havent...well...it depends on the individual...i'm not one to generalise the experiences and give wrong impressions of it...if you have the mentality, you'd experience it differently...there's nothing wrong with liking it, or for that matter...even craving it...you shouldnt be envious of me in any way...i've done my time and i deserve to leave...it was just unfortunate you werent born earlier... ;)

A Hot Day At Sentosa

2009-05-03T00:44:00.002+08:00

and yes, i did go down to sentosa today for our gathering, which had a lesser turnout than what was expected...but fun all the same...i've got a few pictures but i feel lazy to transfer them tonight...maybe another time..

woke up early today and travelled all the way down to sentosa...okay lah...it's not exactly that far anyway...the day was good...didnt rain...breezy...just one thing...the sand was hot...and it was really hot..just standing still for a few seconds resulted in grevious hurt...walking has become tougher now...since we've got blisters under our feet now...(well...i dont know about the rest but at least i have..) ..really tortured my skin because of that..nevertheless, we played volleyball and beach soccer...until we realised that running on sand is actually quite tiring...and then most of them went for a swim, while i just said down and tried to cool myself and absorb the atmosphere...

i reached home at like somewhere about 7pm...bathed...ate..and just lazed back...i mean...after exercise and a bath...you tend to feel like...just...lazy..not exactly sleepy as such..but just moodless and uninterested in many things..well my mum tried pushing me to sleep early..but i said i'd stay up and watch The Lakehouse which was showing at night...and it was left at that...

tomorrow i shall plan to wake up late.....i hope.....if i am allowed...and my legs are weakened from all that running too....

The Voice Within

2009-05-01T22:59:00.002+08:00

and the days are counting...another short week passed...but i kind of spent this Good Friday out...my grand aunty called for lunch at her place and yes, i took in a lot...as usual...you know..grandparents and food....always seem to taste better..oh...and it was indian food....so ya...one tiring day...

came back and then went out shopping with mum...quite a while...didnt really eat dinner cos yeah...was too full...so drank soup and had grapes...watched a bit of tv and now about to sleep soon...tomorrow's our ORD gathering or some sort like that...at sentosa...meeting in the morning so i plan not to stay up late...and plus, i've been sneezing quite often recently..

anyway...i realised today from the conversations i had with my parents and my sis..(yes i was online with my sis)...that they're all actually usually fed up with me...cos of well, me...haha..seems that my words mean gold...cos.. (although when i say this, a lot of people wont believe me)...i actually dont talk much...but of course..i dont see the need to..is it wrong to say that it's best to talk what and when people want to hear?...what's the point of just talking about stuff, about whatever interests you and you want to share it with others...and even worse...if it revolves around you...and then make people hear it...expecting something in return???...i strongly believe in the 'you ask, you get' practice..which i've learnt to realise that many others dont..

talking is such a hassle...but then again..it seems not talking actually gets people irritated at you...i mean really...if it is not necessary and doesnt concern you...or at least...if by talking you dont manage to change anything...then why bother...just sit back and accept the situation...maybe laugh at it if it concerned someone tripping and falling...or cry with the rest...or just tell yourself all that has been said is wrong and you're not going to believe anything...

but i guess being quiet, in its own way, does have it's own mysteries...come to think of it...i've been wondering..how well do you (yes you, the one reading this)...actually know me...you know..not like my personal particulars..like i dont expect you to remember my birthday unless we are real close...or like where i stay...but me for me...the person i am...maybe a memorable conversation we had...or do you know when my mood changes..or when i'm vulnerable...how do you get information out of me...can you manipulate me...can you even talk to me in the first place...are you able to read me...

my favourite colour is black......one of the things that i so often hear...but how did that come about...when it isnt true in the first place... another one.. i love punk music... you know..it makes me feel whether we've really talked before or not...if you spend some time and think...reflect...all the times we've spent...how much have you gained...am i really what you think i am...do you really think i am all that you see me as..

of course...this doesnt mean i'm changing anything..i love me for who i am...vanity, sweet tooth and all...and despite getting into trouble with others over things which i could have prevented, i'm staying steadfast on my attitude and behaviour...and if you really want to get to know me..you try to find your way around...

come and try to manipulate me.....i think i might have had a 21 year headstart already ;)